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"Captainbrass, we have married women for you!"

edited 2012-01-06 14:40:57 in General

Clearly the world spamming community has decided that I am a prime target for services offering to hook me up with married women, since I am now getting a never-ending stream of them. Here's a few choice quotes for your amusement:


"You need to understand that ALL of the married women that you will be dating DO NOT want to play games."


Yeah! World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, Super Mario Bros - married women say, "Fuck all that, let's get on with the sex!"


From the Ashley Madison Cheaters Club - "Ashley guarantees that you will sleep with a married woman."


Because nothing inspires confidence more that a promise from someone who sounds like the airhead Valley Girl character in the worst teen movie you ever saw.


"You are 1 of 3 people selected to watch a very important video."


No doubt the other two are President Obama and the secretary-general of the United Nations.


"Having an affair can be stressful because you never know if the other person involved is going to get attached to you. You just want the "sexual activity" and nothing else."


Suddenly, I feel dirty and in urgent need of a bath. Also, why is "sexual activity" in quotes? It's like someone told them that affairs involve having sex, but they don't quite believe it. "This alleged sexual activity..."


"Outrageous Wood Projects..."


Sorry, my mistake - that one really is about woodwork.  

Comments

  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    wtf?
  • They're somethin' else.
    I AM MAGNETO, MASTUR OF MAGNET!

    HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH!!!
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    hastur mastur?
  • No rainbow star
    ...I wonder if these services have ever hooked up a man/woman with one of their parents?
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Y'know how you can put quotation marks around things and make them seem dirtier than they are?

    What happens when you use this on things that are actually dirty in that sense?  Like, what's the difference between having sex, having "sex", "having" sex, and "having sex"?

  • ...I wonder if these services have ever hooked up a man/woman with one of their parents


    That's kind of possible, I guess.
  • Good people don't end up here.
    What happens when you use this on things that are actually dirty in that
    sense?  Like, what's the difference between having sex, having "sex",
    "having" sex, and "having sex"?


    It sounds like you're talking about alien species with the best anthropocentric terminology you can manage.
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