I don't know if this is satire or not

Myrmidon

http://cnx.org/content/m14304/1.10/

Seriously. It really confuses me.

glennmagusharvey

Poe's Revolving Door UU

Artifact - Contraption

T: Destroy target sarcasm detector.
T: Destroy target satire detector.

"No, really, are you really serious?  It's like I can't tell anymore."

Myrmidon

"his work means that there are no happy feelings, because even if the end result is a happy feeling, it took work to get there, and the work outweighs the happy feeling. I found this to be true looking at all feelings, don’t just look at the happy feeling, but when you look at the work involved you realize that you’re actually sad. Let’s look at computers, at first look you might say, sure a computer would cause good feelings, you have buttons you can press and little windows that pop up, that’s awesome! But you aren’t looking at the fact that you have to press the buttons and you have to think about the windows that pop up when they pop up, so both things which you perceived as happy are actually sad. Everything in life works like that, each and every feeling requires work. That brings about the point that everything is really physical, because when you think about the windows poping up the thinking that you are doing is work that your brain (which is physical) is doing. So everything requires physical work. So there aren’t really any feelings anyway, just physical stuff going on. And physical stuff requires work. Since everything is physical, and you are constantly moving and alive, you are constantly doing work. "

Seriously, what the hell is this?

Icalasari

What kind of stupidity did you stumble upon, Myrmidon?

Myrmidon

"Just add, "Well, all you're doing there" before something anyone can do, and you'll realize that what they are doing is actually boring, no matter what it happens to be. Say adding 1 to 1. "Well, all you're doing there" is adding 1 to 1 to get 2. See? You can go through everything in life and eliminate it this way as boring. It's a challenge; you won't be able to find something not boring. That's proof that life is boring, and it sucks. Or say you're walking, just add, well, all you're doing there is walking, and you realize how it's actually boring."

"Domesticated animals are a lot less tuff then non domesticated animals, therefore all domesticated animals are gay, especially relative to a non domesticated equivalent"

"The conclusion reached thus far reveals that most advanced things in life suck, leaving the simple, natural ones natural and true, things like eating and sleeping, do in fact help people and are in fact the only truly enjoyable things there are to do (the simple things that is, like back before modern civilization. This paper argues that all activities humans do in a post hunter-gatherer culture they don’t really enjoy doing, and are deceiving themselves that they like doing it do to societal pressure to conform. "

" Have you ever seen a duck cry? Nope. Ducks are happy all the time, they don’t have huge emotional swings like humans do. They don’t have to deal with all the trauma and bull shit. I can tell you I would be much happier being a duck. It gets even worse when there are extremely complicated negative feelings, that makes you feel like you’re being pressed in by a lot of evil."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

IanExMachina

All domestic animals are gay?

Myrmidon

mesticated that its entire species evolved from wolf into dog because of its interaction with humans. So in other words, before it was dependent on itself, and then it became dependent on humans. If you’re not independent, you’re gay. That means you have to rely on something or someone other than yourself for your survival. Modern life is entirely relying on massive amounts of other people and other stuff for your survival. So it’s entirely gay. Encyclopedias are gay, they are just massive amounts of collections of information about nothing. Nothing could be more boring and uninteresting then an encyclopedia, except maybe a dictionary. It’s gay because it isn’t related to your survival, it’s an accessory. Why is that gay? Because when you aren’t thinking about your survival you’re relaxed and doing something relaxing and boring. That’s gay because its not intense and interesting. Humans should be dominant over their environment, not succumb to it. The typical view is that humans have dominated nature when the opposite is true, if you put a modern human out in nature they are much less likely to survive then a pre modern one. That makes all current humans gay. They are defeated by nature itself. Gay means non intense. Things that aren’t gay are intense. Nothing is more gay than an encyclopedia, which is just massive amounts of the most boring things to think about you could imagine. Things that aren’t directly in your environment, and things that you have to think deeply about, are gay because they aren’t intense. Even sports are gay, mostly because you aren’t trying to kill the other players. You’re engaged in this huge battle based on a series of pre agreed upon rules. Rules don’t exist in nature, only rules of life. Things that you have to think deeply about are gay because they don’t grab your attention naturally, so it just isn’t possible to put as much interest in them as you could in something in your immediate environment, say a rock or anything.

Icalasari

In regards to that site:

Myrmidon

I sent an e-mail to the author. Hopefully he'll answer.

 "The truth is the most meaning people find is from themselves. Since you're most similar to yourself, you are never going to connect with anyone else more than you connect with yourself. So you're always going to be your own best friend. It's easy to prove that people are selfish, because, unlike in movies, in real life no one would actually give their own life for someone else. There we go, proved. That was surprisingly easy to prove. Either I am the first to discover that proof, or everyone else was being delusional in thinking that the world is better and nicer then it actually is, blocking out the fact that people are actually fundamentally selfish, and that it was extremely easy to prove that they are. I mean when you are talking to someone else do you think they actually care more about you then they do about themself? Nope. Even if it's a loved one they are still going to care more about themself. Sorry. There just isn't any real connection. There's an imaginary connection, because everyone is in such denial of the reality of life, but there isn't a real one. Sorry again. This works for objects too. I mean, do you care more about yourself, or your computer. Yourself. I would think that my computer is better than I am because it is so efficent and sophisticated, but even though it doesn't make any sense, I am going to think that I am better than my computer. Thats because humans are in denial that life sucks and that they are inferior to computers and stuff like that. When you walk up to the typical person and say, hey does life suck, they are going to say no. It's not that they aren't capable of understanding that life sucks, it's just that they are permanently delusional because they want to think that the world is a better place than it actually is so they can be happy with the world and themselves. That's stupid. You can be wrong, but you are going to be stupid and wrong. Just don't leave out the stupid when admitting that you're wrong. (if you are wrong that is)"

" So everyone's just logical, and all their feelings are really just neurons? Where is all the warmth and love? It doesn’t exist. Sorry. How many "warm" feelings can you remember experiencing this past week? Not many. How many "cold" feelings did you have? Probably a lot more. This is the sad truth to reality."

"You should realize that humans don't really feel anything - Any feeling you have is a chemical in your mind sending off "happy" or "sad". That beauty is just how pleasing the things you see are, there isn't a delusional idea that people really "feel" or "love" Love is just a chemical in your brain. Its not a "truly moving, fascinating, deep, wonderful experience". Sorry to break it to you, but there isn't anything magical going on. No need to be delusional. They're just neurons."

captainbrass

I'm not reading this on the grounds that the writer seems incapable of writing a properly structured piece of writing. He just sets out these random unconnected thoughts on the same subject.

Depressingly, that makes it more likely to be serious. Someone who was trying to be satirical would probably have put more effort into the writing.

I notice he has assembled his "Collected Psychological Writings". Freud and Jung must be shitting themselves.

Myrmidon

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0615215602/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_d0_g14_i2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-5&pf_rd_r=1TM2SB38WA5ZVFCW90VS&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470939291&pf_rd_i=507846

He has a book.

captainbrass

Good grief. I hope no-one actually hands over money for it. This is just a wall of text of him saying that everything sucks.

Myrmidon

All the subjects suck because they are boring. In math the problems are boring and take too much mental effort, or if they are simple then they are just boring. History is irrelevant because people only care what is going on in the world around them. On that topic the major issues seem to be crime and war, and I don’t know why people would want to hear about those bloody subjects. Companies are boring, they are in the news. Politics is just all the boring school subjects wrapped into one, and as they apply in real life. You only have to learn a foreign language because everyone doesn’t speak the same one language, so while it might be useful it still sucks that you have to learn it in the first place. I mean what exactly is the point of being able to say the same word two different ways? Studying your own language usually consists of reading endless boring books your teachers consider “intellectual” but you don’t. Blowing things up is fun but knowing the chemistry and science behind it is boring. Things moving is also fun but understanding the physics behind it is boring and tedious. Biology is disgusting.

Crimson

How old is this guy? He sounds like a teenager whining about how hard school is.

Myrmidon

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/4489670/Pettinelli

Huh, I thought "boring" would be the biggest word and "sorry" would be in there more often.

^I have no idea.

Medium physical activity is boring. And a tiny amount of physical activity (like walking) is boring. So basically anything physical (unless its intense) is boring. So all we have left for fun things to do is mental stuff which requires little effort, but is still fun – good luck finding that. (sarcasm) Don’t consider “walking around” fun either that is just really “looking around” which we already decided gets boring fast. Now how many fun, simple mental activities pop up in your head right now. None, that’s how many. There is just nothing fun to do in life, it all sucks.

Myrmidon

All his other writing seems like standard self-help armchair psychology shit, which makes the galloping retarded pessimism of this piece even more jarring.

RedEyedAbyss

Wow, this is the laziest use of sentence structure I've seen outside of elementary school and message board trolls. Bloke can't even be arsed to use question marks.

I know his writing is boring at least.

RedEyedAbyss

Hey, political idiots constantly get high degrees. Hell, Stephen Harper has a Master's degree in economics, yet denied there was a recession.

Myrmidon

I don't think he's a real psychologist.

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/203068_804753826_4756806_n.jpg

This is not the face of a psychologist.

Myrmidon

http://web.archive.org/web/20061114023350/http://www.lifesucksociety.com/?

Earlier version of the article

"After reading this webpage, you should realize that life really sucks badly. If you haven't killed yourself by now, your only option left is to accept the fact that life sucks and is fundamentally bad. You are now praising god for making life suck so much, and thanking him for being so wonderfully evil and cruel, to torture you like this. That there is nothing wrong with negative emotion and being sad all the time (you're sad all the time cause you're doing stuff all the time, and all stuff is boring). So here it is, thank you god for making life so miserable and sick, so deliciously evil and disgusting. There is nothing wrong with enjoying being sad, that's life enjoying life, only not directly. It just puts your mind in psychotic cycles of thinking and rethinking how happy and sad you are. Then, out of pure misery (misery in its true form) "life" springs. You may be shaken, weak, and depressed, but you're still alive. And why is being alive good if life sucks so much, why exactly are you still living since it clearly sucks? Because you enjoy pain, obviously. That's sick. So life is really increadibly sick, since that proves that human's enjoy pain. Wow."

Okay, it's genuinely creeping me out now. I don't think this is satire.

MadassAlex

It sounds like he's surreptitiously pining for sympathy.

Myrmidon

 "The life sucks society argues that all activities humans do in a post hunter-gatherer culture they don’t really enjoy doing, and are deceiving themselves that they like doing it do to societal pressure to conform. "

It's a good thing he has x-ray vision into other's internal states.

"That’s all there is to talk about in life. Unfortunately there isn’t much in life to begin with to criticize. If there was a lot of stuff in life to talk about then life probably wouldn’t suck, but it does. Everything I think about when I think about life comes up boring. Even art and vision is boring which I already showed how beauty is just neurons as well. So when you look around at life, it’s boring visually, and when you pause to think about all the stuff in life, you realize that it’s all boring. It might be exciting if our lives were under some sort of threat, like back before civilization when humans were just “wild” wild animals. I’d really like to add more to the site, but, I’m not god, and I really can’t add any more to life."

God he's pathetic. I sent him another e-mail telling him that I realized that it wasn't satire and that he doesn't need to respond.

Glowsquid

either way, it's funny.

 

(where do you find all that shit)

Crimson

^Seriously Myr. I thought you'd be over seeking out internet nihilists by now.

Naas_Human

What's scary is... I can sort of see what he means. Or maybe not.

Ow, brain hurts...

captainbrass

^ Seconded. This stuff is unhealthy, even to mock. If you insist on reading depressing philosophers, at least go for the guys who have some intellectual weight like Satre or Kierkegaard. I mean, you can cite them in essays without being seen as a total idiot, so they're pragmatically useful.

And being famous, there are lots of "Idiot's Guides" to their work, so you don't even have to read the actual philosophy to get the main points.

Myrmidon

"And nothing in the world is going to change the fact that you feel like shit. You're just down and out, and you're going to stay there, and you desperately want to get out, but you know there is no hope, but for some reason you keep going thinking that there is hope and maybe there is something in life worth while, when really there isn't? Weird. I mean if you "really" feel like shit obviously there isn't anything positive in life. It would just be classified definitively as "endless misery". So you wouldn't be getting on with life you'd be getting on with feeling like shit in endless misery."

I don't even know what he's talking about anymore.

Even weirder? Here's a quote from his other website

" If you adopt the ideals of the Kindness Association, to promote your emotional wellbeing by promoting kindness in yourself and others, so that they will be kind to you, you will help the Kindness Association achieve its goals. You of course need to promote kindness in yourself, not just others, because being unkind yourself makes you think about things which cause negative emotion, which makes you feel bad. In order to fully feel and get the benefit of kindness, you must promote kindness in yourself as well, otherwise you’d only get half the benefit. (If you just promote it in others)"

InsanityAddict

Not sure whether to recommend the guy a therapist or an editor.

Myrmidon

His most recent work is this:

http://cnx.org/content/col11139/latest/

And he hasn't contributed to the "Life is Tragic" thing since 2009 and he let the "Lifesuckssociety: website go down. He might have changed his views somewhere down the road.

captainbrass

^ Perhaps he finally got laid...

^^ That second paragraph. What.

It makes no sense. I wish we had the Something Awful emoticon of a mouth spouting words - that's all it is.

Myrmidon

"People like pain too much. They like watching violence, and they laugh at "funny" violent cartoons where the cartoon characters get hurt then spring right back up as if nothing happened. That is more evidence that people enjoy pain. People also like hurting other people, as that causes pain which they can experience. This all contributes the world being sick and life sucking. People enjoy pain as well as pleasure because both in the end boil down to stimulating your neurons, it's a stimulus, and since there is nothing to do in life, some stimulus is better than nothing, even if it happens to be pain. Pain might even be as fun as happy stuff because there is just as much happy stuff as sad stuff in the world, so for you to be happiest you'd have to get half your stimulation from pain and half from pleasure. If you're watching something and it involves pain and pleasure, and a person that enjoys both pain and pleasure is there he will enjoy it more then someone that just experiences pleasure, so that person wins. Evolutionarily we evolved so that we'd enjoy both for that reason. The reason you feel from both pain and pleasure is because of what the things cause you to think about. When you see someone in action that action is fun, but if they suddenly get shot that is fun too, I can prove it's fun because it happens in movies and stuff that people love to watch, so they must like seeing it. It's fun because it causes you to think more deeply about that person and their life, the fact that they had to get shot for you to think more deeply about them is a minor detail, it just means it causes you to think about that person, and how their life is ending. It's still a lot of stimulation so it's actually a lot of fun. Life is incredibly sick. You may not be smiling as it happens (unless you're sadistic or something) but it's still stimulation, which is a relief from boredom, which you are very happy to have."

So if life is pain, isn't masochism a good thing? Apparently not, because it's "sick".