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What I saw last night at the community pool (NSFW)
So last night, after dark, I took a walk around the neighborhood. A few streets away, there's an athletics center nearby. The swimming pool is notable in that they keep it open even into the dead of winter.
So I was walking by there and, as usual, they keep the lights on in the place. Was content just to walk by until I noticed something inside the building. There were a guy and a girl making out by the poolside. Standing up. In full view from the street. Well, that wasn't typical.
I watched as they first made out passionately, then started groping each other all over. Then the guy started undoing the girl's bikini. Soon she was naked. Then she slid off his swim trunks. Then they started really going at it. I couldn't believe that these two people were going at it right in front of the freaking window, with bright lights illuminating everything they were doing.
But then they looked over at the window, and saw me. I kinda stood there, stunned the whole time, and now I realized I'd been discovered, in an interesting twist of irony. Sure, I could run, but they probably already saw me, because there were streetlights nearby. So I just ran a little to get behind a tree, so I could see what they would do next. They hurriedly put street clothes back on, and then my problems began. They both seemed to pick up from a nearby bench (at least as best I could tell from between tree branches), shotguns. And then the girl ran to the left, and the guy ran to the right, both carrying shotguns.
This wasn't good. See, I knew the pool building well and knew that the closest exits were on both sides of the street block; I was in the middle of the block that the pool building sat beside. They were almost certainly running toward both of those exits; why else would they branch out onto two sides? Running either way would likely cause me to run right into either of them. And running away from the building across the street would just leave me on this gigantic field. Damnit, why did they have to replace the woods that used to be here with a large and useless and uphill (from where I was standing) patch of grass dotted with a few small trees (nothing that I could hide behind). And there were no cars in the parking lot that I could take cover behind either.
I just didn't know what to do. So I actually jumped toward the building, and rolled behind the bushes that adjoined it. I hoped that they couldn't see me from windows or something. I hoped that they wouldn't bother to look for me there. My heart raced as I heard door sounds. From where I lay, I could see the girl coming out of the building. I looked the other way and the boy did too. Almost at the exact same time, he opened the door, got on the floor, and everybody walked the dinosaur.
So I was walking by there and, as usual, they keep the lights on in the place. Was content just to walk by until I noticed something inside the building. There were a guy and a girl making out by the poolside. Standing up. In full view from the street. Well, that wasn't typical.
I watched as they first made out passionately, then started groping each other all over. Then the guy started undoing the girl's bikini. Soon she was naked. Then she slid off his swim trunks. Then they started really going at it. I couldn't believe that these two people were going at it right in front of the freaking window, with bright lights illuminating everything they were doing.
But then they looked over at the window, and saw me. I kinda stood there, stunned the whole time, and now I realized I'd been discovered, in an interesting twist of irony. Sure, I could run, but they probably already saw me, because there were streetlights nearby. So I just ran a little to get behind a tree, so I could see what they would do next. They hurriedly put street clothes back on, and then my problems began. They both seemed to pick up from a nearby bench (at least as best I could tell from between tree branches), shotguns. And then the girl ran to the left, and the guy ran to the right, both carrying shotguns.
This wasn't good. See, I knew the pool building well and knew that the closest exits were on both sides of the street block; I was in the middle of the block that the pool building sat beside. They were almost certainly running toward both of those exits; why else would they branch out onto two sides? Running either way would likely cause me to run right into either of them. And running away from the building across the street would just leave me on this gigantic field. Damnit, why did they have to replace the woods that used to be here with a large and useless and uphill (from where I was standing) patch of grass dotted with a few small trees (nothing that I could hide behind). And there were no cars in the parking lot that I could take cover behind either.
I just didn't know what to do. So I actually jumped toward the building, and rolled behind the bushes that adjoined it. I hoped that they couldn't see me from windows or something. I hoped that they wouldn't bother to look for me there. My heart raced as I heard door sounds. From where I lay, I could see the girl coming out of the building. I looked the other way and the boy did too. Almost at the exact same time, he opened the door, got on the floor, and everybody walked the dinosaur.
Comments
Still, 10/10
> >My spaghetti falls out all over
how is spaghetti formed? how spaghetti fall over?
And then John was a zombie.
Well done, Glenn. Why the sudden interest in an old hit from the 80s? They used to play it at school discos at my primary school, probably when it was new.
@Icalasari: I was first just gonna go for interrupting the sex scene, but then I realized that the story would be a bit too short if I did that, so I needed more material.
Alternatively, I could change the setting and make this a martial arts dojo. Pulling katanas off the walls would work better.
HEY KISAMAS,
WATASHI NO NAMAE WA ANANIMASU OFFU KAKUSU TO WATASHI WA KIRAI
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ANATA. ALL OF ANATA ARE FAT, BAKA BAKA NO-LIFES WHO
SPEND EVERY SECOND OF MAINICHI MITEIRUING AT BAKA PICTURES. ANATA WA
SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI. HONTO NI, HAVE ANY OF ANATA EVER
GOTTEN ANY NEKO? I MEAN, WATASHI GUESS IT'S TANOSHI MAKING FUN OF HITOS
BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN UNKAWAIINESS, BUT MINNA TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW
LEVEL. KORE WA WORSE THAN ONANI-ING TO PICTURES ON HESUBUUKU.
(SONO PIC WA RELATED DESU, ARE WA WATASHI TO WATASHI NO ONNA)SHIRANAI HITO JA NAI DESHO? JUST HIT WATASHI AND BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU.
WATASHI WA PRETTY MUCH PAAFEKUTO. WATASHI WAS AMERIKAN FUTBORU NO
CAPTAIN, TO WATASHI WAS HAJIMASHTATER ON WATASHI NO BASUKETOBOORU TEAM.
DONNA SUPOTSU DO ANATA ASANBOU, OTHER THAN "ONANI TO NAKED DRAWN
NIPPONJIN"? WATASHI MO GET HOMO JA NAI A'S, TO WATASHI HAS A BANGING
KAWAII SHOJO (KANOJO WA BLOWJOB WO SHIMASHITA; KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH.)
ANATA WA ALL KISAMAS DARE SHOULD JUST KOROSU THEMSELVES. DOMO ARIGATOU
GOZAIMASU FOR LISTENING.
I was wrong about the primary school disco, since the song was 1987 - it must have been my middle school. Still a good song, though.
And crowbars are more out of place than a shotgun?
Well, there's actually one one town over, but it is nowhere near here--I reckon it'd take over an hour's worth of walking just to get there, so it's absolutely not a place that I'd walk to on a cold winter night. The only shred of truth is that they do actually have a swimming pool that's open through winter, which is basically the point of information where I started planning this story.
That said, as I noted above, I can easily take out that detail and replace it with a better one. Sure, a dojo or something might not be as suited for this meme's traditional requirement of a raunchy, scandalous story, though I think the excitement in this story comes more from the events subsequent to that.
One of them is basically an association meme, very little interruption factor, and a pretty sizeable pattern factor as well. This is the one involving describing people and characters crouch-walking as "walking the dinosaur", often with youtube videos set to the refrain of that song.
The other is this meme, which has very little associaton factor, runs almost entirely on interruption, and has a mild-to-moderate pattern factor (but a totally different pattern). The only pattern here is that these instances involve a shaggy dog story, typically of raunchy, sick, and/or otherwise scandalous nature.