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Let's Play Shin Megami Tensei II: Are Mesians still jerks? Probably.
First off, some notes and backstory:
Backstory
SMT II is set in 20XX, an unspecified number of years after the neutral ending of the original Shin Megami Tensei (with the majority of that game being set in 202X). As of the ending to that game, Tokyo had been destroyed in a nuclear holocaust, then flooded, the public leaders of both major world religions had been killed, and so had archangel Michael and Tenma Asura, the leaders of YHVH and Lucifer's armies respectively. The ones behind all this wanton genocide were the Hero, and the Heroine. (Named in the Playstation remake as Kazuya and Yuka).
After this, Tai Shang Lao Jung, in what was kind of a dick move, decided to ask the Hero and Heroine to help rebuild the world. I should point out that at this point, the only living people were on an island in the middle of the now both rubbly and wet Tokyo, so this was kind of a tall order. Guess they managed it somehow, though.
Anyhow, enough backstory. Time for notestuff.
Notes
Enough notes for now. Have at you!
Intro
The game opens with this blatant lie completely factual statement.
After spending a moment to ensure you that the Mesians are clearly worshipping a different YHVH, who just so happens to have archangels called Gabriel, Uriel, Raphael, and Michael, and an enemy called Lucifer, the intro plays.
Now we can start a new game.
Part One: In which zombies don't die, and people can see through walls
Hawk? I don't get to change his name? Unusual for a MegaTen game.
Good morning, Crono!
Gimme five more minutes...
What is it? A fire? A demonic invasion? Another nuclear holocaust?
Oh. Much less interesting.
Of course I'm a natural. Would you expect anything less?
I told you, I was tired, not drunk!
...Or maybe he's just an alcoholic. One of the two.
You are a terrible terrible mentor.
Unscathed, in an RPG? Holy crap, he really is a natural.
...Wait, literally unscathed? What would figuratively unscathed be?
How could I? You only remind me every single day.
...Wait, you're paying for him to get the crap beaten out of him? I'm siding with the mime here, you really are a terrible mentor.
I told you, my name is Tatsuya!
Okamoto: What's that? I can't hear you over your amnesia.
* Tatsuya is the protagonist of Persona 2: Innocent Sin, and one of the few named protagonists in the series.
...You saved his life so he can participate in battles to the death. Why should he be thanking you? Why shouldn't he be stabbing you?
...Not really.
Reminds me of Deadman Wonderland. What's next, Crow, Hummingbird, and Woodpecker?
Maybe I should kidnap people and make them fight to the death too!
...You mean, assuming Hawk doesn't die horribly?
...No. I totally ignored the whole kidnap and forced fighting thing. Why would I pay attention to a silly thing like that?
After saving, I follow the lunatic's orders and choose training.
...You have a lab in your gym? You ever thought you could have used the money you used to build that to leave this place, like you wanted to? You wouldn't have had to kidnap innocent people, either.
Ooo, retro.
* During a full moon, it is impossible to talk to demons, because they are busy trying to tear your throat out. This makes dungeons pretty hard during one. Dir is pretty obvious, although it's not really useful. The "1F" indicator indicates the floor of a dungeon you are on. MAG is short for Magnetite, a substance that decreases as long as you have demons summoned. If it runs out, they start losing health, fast.
OH GOD A (VIRTUAL) GHOST.
...Reminds me of Princess Mononoke, actually.
* Akuryou are evil spirits, which is quite a self-explanatory definition, really.
It's a full moon, so we can't exactly engage in a heart to heart talk with the evil monster, and escaping would defeat the object of training a little, so we'll go for fight. Hawk didn't have the foresight to pick up a virtual gun, or virtual items, or virtual demons (the COMP option), so we'll use the (inaccurately named) sword option.
You'll notice that Hawk has ... for MP. This is because he will never be able to cast magic, because of his ability to summon demons. In place of COMP, other characters have MAGIC as an option.
The little men shaped icons at the top of the screen indicate how many enemies there are, as well as their current status (including critical health).
Because every good game needs zombie dogs. SMT I did not have zombie dogs. ...Or poltergeists for that matter.
* Shiki are the undead. Mostly zombies and the like.
ZOMBIE!
...Incredibly weak zombie!
Beating this signifies the end of the battler. However, if we choose leave from the menu...
Half assed? I just took out a zombie dog in one hit!
Anyway, nothing to do about it but plunge into the battler again.
And I levelled up! (Twice actually, but that would get repetitive.) I put 2 points into INT, used for negotiating with demons. As you may have guessed, MAG is almost useless for Hawk.
Ayway, I try to leave, again.
You just forced me through that thing twice, you old bastard!
Okamoto: For that, you're getting less money.
He gives you 200 Macca.
* Macca is the demon currency, and the currency used in nearly every game in the SMT universe.
Ooo. Spaceshippy. And kinda old looking, for a building that's been around for a maximum of 79 years.
...That's a wall, Miss.
My eyes are already open. My path's less clear, but that's because there are so many corridors.
...The last guy to say that to me made me fight an archangel. ...Four of them. And then made me rebuild Tokyo.
...I didn't ask you to in the first place!
Backstory
SMT II is set in 20XX, an unspecified number of years after the neutral ending of the original Shin Megami Tensei (with the majority of that game being set in 202X). As of the ending to that game, Tokyo had been destroyed in a nuclear holocaust, then flooded, the public leaders of both major world religions had been killed, and so had archangel Michael and Tenma Asura, the leaders of YHVH and Lucifer's armies respectively. The ones behind all this wanton genocide were the Hero, and the Heroine. (Named in the Playstation remake as Kazuya and Yuka).
After this, Tai Shang Lao Jung, in what was kind of a dick move, decided to ask the Hero and Heroine to help rebuild the world. I should point out that at this point, the only living people were on an island in the middle of the now both rubbly and wet Tokyo, so this was kind of a tall order. Guess they managed it somehow, though.
Anyhow, enough backstory. Time for notestuff.
Notes
- Any speech by the protagonist will be of my own mind, as, going with SMT tradition, he's mute. Or at least, the Link type of mute where he is apparently a telepath.
- I am doing this run completely blind, so things will probably happen in a really odd order.
- I'm leaving decision making in your capable existing hands. This is probably a really bad plan.
- I will make notes through the game using coloured text, depending on the nature of the note. Main text will still be black, though.
Enough notes for now. Have at you!
Intro
The game opens with this blatant lie completely factual statement.
After spending a moment to ensure you that the Mesians are clearly worshipping a different YHVH, who just so happens to have archangels called Gabriel, Uriel, Raphael, and Michael, and an enemy called Lucifer, the intro plays.
Now we can start a new game.
Part One: In which zombies don't die, and people can see through walls
Hawk? I don't get to change his name? Unusual for a MegaTen game.
Good morning, Crono!
Gimme five more minutes...What is it? A fire? A demonic invasion? Another nuclear holocaust?
Oh. Much less interesting.
Of course I'm a natural. Would you expect anything less? I told you, I was tired, not drunk!...Or maybe he's just an alcoholic. One of the two.
You are a terrible terrible mentor.Unscathed, in an RPG? Holy crap, he really is a natural.
...Wait, literally unscathed? What would figuratively unscathed be?
How could I? You only remind me every single day....Wait, you're paying for him to get the crap beaten out of him? I'm siding with the mime here, you really are a terrible mentor.
I told you, my name is Tatsuya!Okamoto: What's that? I can't hear you over your amnesia.
* Tatsuya is the protagonist of Persona 2: Innocent Sin, and one of the few named protagonists in the series.
...You saved his life so he can participate in battles to the death. Why should he be thanking you? Why shouldn't he be stabbing you?
...Not really.Reminds me of Deadman Wonderland. What's next, Crow, Hummingbird, and Woodpecker?
Maybe I should kidnap people and make them fight to the death too!
...You mean, assuming Hawk doesn't die horribly?
...No. I totally ignored the whole kidnap and forced fighting thing. Why would I pay attention to a silly thing like that?
After saving, I follow the lunatic's orders and choose training.
...You have a lab in your gym? You ever thought you could have used the money you used to build that to leave this place, like you wanted to? You wouldn't have had to kidnap innocent people, either.
Ooo, retro.
* During a full moon, it is impossible to talk to demons, because they are busy trying to tear your throat out. This makes dungeons pretty hard during one. Dir is pretty obvious, although it's not really useful. The "1F" indicator indicates the floor of a dungeon you are on. MAG is short for Magnetite, a substance that decreases as long as you have demons summoned. If it runs out, they start losing health, fast.
OH GOD A (VIRTUAL) GHOST.
...Reminds me of Princess Mononoke, actually.
* Akuryou are evil spirits, which is quite a self-explanatory definition, really.
It's a full moon, so we can't exactly engage in a heart to heart talk with the evil monster, and escaping would defeat the object of training a little, so we'll go for fight. Hawk didn't have the foresight to pick up a virtual gun, or virtual items, or virtual demons (the COMP option), so we'll use the (inaccurately named) sword option.
You'll notice that Hawk has ... for MP. This is because he will never be able to cast magic, because of his ability to summon demons. In place of COMP, other characters have MAGIC as an option.
The little men shaped icons at the top of the screen indicate how many enemies there are, as well as their current status (including critical health).
Because every good game needs zombie dogs. SMT I did not have zombie dogs. ...Or poltergeists for that matter.
* Shiki are the undead. Mostly zombies and the like.
ZOMBIE!
...Incredibly weak zombie!
Beating this signifies the end of the battler. However, if we choose leave from the menu...
Half assed? I just took out a zombie dog in one hit!
Anyway, nothing to do about it but plunge into the battler again.
And I levelled up! (Twice actually, but that would get repetitive.) I put 2 points into INT, used for negotiating with demons. As you may have guessed, MAG is almost useless for Hawk.
Ayway, I try to leave, again.
You just forced me through that thing twice, you old bastard!Okamoto: For that, you're getting less money.
He gives you 200 Macca.
* Macca is the demon currency, and the currency used in nearly every game in the SMT universe.
Ooo. Spaceshippy. And kinda old looking, for a building that's been around for a maximum of 79 years.
...That's a wall, Miss.
My eyes are already open. My path's less clear, but that's because there are so many corridors.
...The last guy to say that to me made me fight an archangel. ...Four of them. And then made me rebuild Tokyo.
...I didn't ask you to in the first place!
Comments
...No I can't, actually. I was lying. Any takers?
That's Ðir not Dir, though I have no idea what it means.
My other suggestion is Kurisu, but I'm okay with Batman.
Buffybat?
Bubat?
Batty?
That's an eccentricity of the early SMT games. In the first game, every capital D was Ð.
Part 2: Hypocrisy and dancing and poor people, oh my
The coinflip declared Buffy, and thus Buffy it shall be.
Ooo, fate! ...Wait, you mean I'm doomed no matter what?
After leaving the creepy fortune teller alone, we find some shops down the corridor.
Odd choice of name. Let's go inside.
* Junks stores are the SMT equivalent of a medicine store. They sell healing items.
...
...THAT IS TERRIBLE LOGIC. YOU ARE A TERRIBLE SHOPKEEPER.
Ooo, a disco.
Classy. And a little bit odd for post apocalyptic Tokyo.
Furious dancing, for the raging demon inside of you.
People willingly enter themselves in fights to the death? Why not just join the army?
So it's ok to be a pervert if you're dancing. Gotcha.
This is 20XX. Not 1975.
Imaginatively named music, there.
I... but... What.
* Bodyconians are essentially zombies, but ones capable of concious thought, unlike other Shiki class demons.
You had doubts about fleeing the slum town in the first place?
Were the guards valkyries by any chance? I'm not sure I'd risk annoying those.
...I don't remember descending any stairs to get in here.
Yay, all the better to slice, dice, mutilate, maim, murder, kill, skewer, kebab, mash, and prod with!
ALL OF YOU ARE TERRIBLE SHOPKEEPERS.
Maybe I should make like Okamoto and lose all my money.
That h symbol is the game's symbol for macca.
Okamoto: I heard that, Hawk!
Let's leave this hell-hole!
It's so blue. And orange. Probably better to go back inside for now, though.
* Although you can't see it here, that blue arrow is wobbling back and forth. This indicates that I am currently neutrally aligned. Clockwise is law, counter-clockwise is chaos.
Hmm... SMT I didn't have one of these...
I don't need you anyway, I have my trusty scroll of identify! ...Wait, wrong game.
It's the feds! Run for it, Hawk!
Greatest power, hmm? ...Well, guess I'd better give him a name. Or, you guys should, actually.
BatmanBatmanManbatSteve
BatmanShiki
SpiderpigSeconding Shiki, actually.
BatmanShiki it is then.Part 3: In which Hawking is immortal
Does this guy have severe memory issues?
I was just staring at your wonderful visor.
No... it can't be!
Ooo look, we're going round in circles.
It's the stars, maaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn...
...And whose fault is that in the first place, hmm?
Yay, a way to stop myself being horribly mutilated! ...Wait, they're not going to sell anything to me, are they?
I must be bloody psychic. And you must be bloody poor.
What kind of justification is that?! DO I LOOK LIKE OKAMOTO TO YOU? And go do your loan sharking kneecapping exploits yourself.
I need a stiff drink anyway.
...Those are quite some prices. I think I'll pass.
Guess I shouldn't have expected good conversation in a bar.
Guy in a wheelchair. In a virtual area. ...You have got to be kidding me.
Future STDs, coming to a bar near you!
I can barely afford the drinks, let alone time wasting.
A Native American vs a bird. Gotcha. And no way in hell is he winning.
Time to go talk to the people of the streets. ...Who are invisible until you invade their personal space.
That's only been the case for, oh, I dunno, the last few decades.
...The last time I met the Messiah in a SMT game, he tried to kill me. No thanks.
Way ahead of ya.
Bloop. Bleep.
I'm a virtual girl, in a virtual world. Life in static, it's fantastic... *shot*
I think an explanation is in order. Especially in regards to that missing space in VirtualBattle.
I can go outside and fight demons for free.
Good thing I don't have any items then. ...Wait, what did she just say?!
She doesn't actually give me a choice in understanding.
Let's start small.
Enjoy getting beaten to pseudo death!
...Was that... you have got to be... what the...
Hello again.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD BY NOW!
Most people die of old age. You should be one of them. And now you sound like a paedophile.
Your name is Steven. I know. How ever could I forget?
Told ya.
* Steven is a character who first appears in SMT I, and is the creator of the Demon Summoning Program, which he spreads throughout the internet in the first game, including to the protagonist. By all rights, he should be dead by now.
For all I know, it could be a virus! ...Ok, no it's not, but still.
...Here we go again.
Demon la revolution!
...The last time this happened, the cities were infested with demons, and people feared for their lives on a daily basis. And you shouldn't even be alive anyway.
Last time you did that, there was a military coup.
You are a horrible judge of character.
Good riddance.
No I didn't enjoy myself, there was a creepy immortal lunatic inside. ...Let's try this again.
...The designer of this battler needs to be shot. It's got worse security than Sony.
Oh hai, creepy test tube scientist.
Here we go again...
(I forgot to mention this the last two times, but names have a limit of 6 characters.)
But is it Bruce Wayne as well?
...Is this SMT or Bioshock?
MADNESS?! THIS. IS. ...A TERRIBLE PORTMANTEAU!
...What was I saying about the security in this place? Paedophiles and viruses everywhere.
*ding* Levelled up strength this time.
Ah, the good old Gremlin. Produced by AMC between 1970 and 1978, it was... oh wait.
* Jaki (also referred to as Evil Demons) are... demons. That are evil. Who'd have guessed? Gremlins originated as a creature that, in myth, sabotaged planes. Which is pretty evil when you think about it.
Let's kick things up a notch, shall we?
One oracles, five oracle. ...I think I put a point into INT, here. Might be wrong, though.
...I... er... wha?
"I've given you sunshine
I've given you dirt.
You've given me nothing
But heartache and hurt."
* Youjuu, also called Wilder, are "Evil Beasts". Or, apparently, plants from musicals. Youjuu include things like Fenrir and Nue. And plants from musicals.
...Twerp? He's your worst enemy, and all you can call him is twerp?
...Er...um...OH GOD WHAT DID YOU TEACH ME?
Rest? That's for the weak.
After wandering around outside a bit, the gym is reached. It's very blue.
Behind door number one, we find... a guy with terrible fashion sense. And redundancy issues.
He has a point. Too many undead for my liking.
...OH GOD HE'S HITTING ON ME. WHY IS EVERYONE HERE A CREEPY PERVERT? ;_;
...Jerk.
...Why is Santa a gay gym trainer?
Holy smokes, I'm in Valhalla! Mead for everyone!
Warrior production line, circa 20XX.
He's manic depressive, it seems. Anyhow, let's blow this joint and go to the colosseum.
Who's there? Lame jokes aside, let's have a chat.
* Chirei are earth spirits. Spirits... OF THE EARTH.
This is how all conversations begin. I guess demons don't believe in moderation.
After a debate on the nature of theology, he swears servitude to me. Sucker.
I ask of you, are you my master?
Just outside the colosseum, we encounter "subtle" naming.
13 Gaians. That's as many as 10 1.3s. And that's terrible.
* Gaians were the Chaos aligned faction in SMT I.
Mood whiplash!
But God is a bastard. :<
Colosseum!
Every great sports arena needs one.
...So, to become a citizen, you have to be a serial killer? Yeesh.
Future Napoleon! ...Wait, did that statue just move?!
I am serious samurai. This is serious colosseum.
So he's named after a train, and delicious to demons.
Worst name ever.
This is the guy who could summon Odin. This seems a little unfair on the opposition. And that's the end of the hall.
Okamoto? Where?!
What a shame.
That's a lot of rules just to explain how dungeons work.
Flesh, blood, bones, and organs, mostly.
The finals are the main event?
Let's get ready to rumble!
Or not.
Ooo. Chocolatey. And that mysterious bar has changed colour.
Box! ...That I didn't screenshot the contents of. It wasn't a Technical Machine, though.
...Heracles was a demon? His dad was a god!
Double battle! Something that only featured in boss fights in the original game.
Boots named like booze, and armour named like armour. Let's wear it! Or drink it.
...I'm not so sure I want to know what that knife is for, but it's got nice stats.
I'M NOT READY YET!
...Of all the times for a flashback.
Erm...