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I may be too good of a rogue for my own good
So I have a very, very extensive history of dodging (or occasionally failing at dodging, completely or incompletely) my parents' watchful minds, ears, and eyes and doing stuff I shouldn't be doing. This goes back to my middle school years, and extends to the present day. I'm really great at having a subconscious sense of whether people are around, a very quick intuition of lines of sight and normalcy of sounds, and more.
Except there's one problem in all of this: I'm now too good at this and this interferes with my doing stuff I actually should be doing, even when I want to do stuff I should be doing.
Take my present problem for example. I'm supposed to revise a passage of writing and send the revised version to someone. Except, when I have a moment of free time, my "learned instinct" isn't to work on this, but rather to check IJBM, check my TVTF thread watchlist, check various other things, play some games, etc., because from a very short-term and subconscious point-of-view, this is the stuff that I am less able to do given the unpredictability of my parents checking out what I'm working on.
One of the stupidest things about this is how this sort of short-term judgement actually leads me away from playing games that require a lot of time at once. This is why I have been neglecting even some games, such as Fire Emblem, Recettear, and Eden Eternal, which all take a significant chunk of time at once, and instead I've been wasting my time doing really silly things like repeated risk-thrill runs of Spelunky (almost all of which end in spectacular and/or hilarious in-game disaster...maybe in part because I actually want it to do that so I don't have to deal with the time commitment of playing through a whole game, which takes at least 15 to 30 minutes), and occasionally even repeated playthroughs of Minesweeper (rapid clicking FTW?) and Solitaire (...yeah). So in a way I'd really like to have a game that has depth but which I can pick up and put down very easily and quickly, but in another way that would be a really, really bad thing to have because it'd both be very easily accessible AND would take up a lot of my mental RAM.
Except there's one problem in all of this: I'm now too good at this and this interferes with my doing stuff I actually should be doing, even when I want to do stuff I should be doing.
Take my present problem for example. I'm supposed to revise a passage of writing and send the revised version to someone. Except, when I have a moment of free time, my "learned instinct" isn't to work on this, but rather to check IJBM, check my TVTF thread watchlist, check various other things, play some games, etc., because from a very short-term and subconscious point-of-view, this is the stuff that I am less able to do given the unpredictability of my parents checking out what I'm working on.
One of the stupidest things about this is how this sort of short-term judgement actually leads me away from playing games that require a lot of time at once. This is why I have been neglecting even some games, such as Fire Emblem, Recettear, and Eden Eternal, which all take a significant chunk of time at once, and instead I've been wasting my time doing really silly things like repeated risk-thrill runs of Spelunky (almost all of which end in spectacular and/or hilarious in-game disaster...maybe in part because I actually want it to do that so I don't have to deal with the time commitment of playing through a whole game, which takes at least 15 to 30 minutes), and occasionally even repeated playthroughs of Minesweeper (rapid clicking FTW?) and Solitaire (...yeah). So in a way I'd really like to have a game that has depth but which I can pick up and put down very easily and quickly, but in another way that would be a really, really bad thing to have because it'd both be very easily accessible AND would take up a lot of my mental RAM.
Comments
>Doesn't use ASCII
NOPE
The main issue is that I seem to be lacking in enough self-discipline to tell myself to do serious work when I ought to actually be doing serious work. I'm trying to figure out why this is the case.
It would actually really be helpful if I could get stuff done then since I would then have some nice time (and justification) to do "bigger" fun things such as Recettear, Eden Eternal, watching more substantial video productions (such as TV shows episodes and movies), and even doing things like writing music and reading, rather than wasting my time playing very short games of Spelunky or Team Fortress 2 or watching Youtube vids.
>Doesn't use ASCII
Yeah, but it's just not the same without the ASCII.
Unfortunately I'm a bit too smart for myself and judge that I do have time/opportunity later, too frequently.
And somehow that hasn't quite worked out for me.