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1st one to post in the Meatspace Category!

edited 2011-01-09 03:01:08 in Meatspace
I wonder what Meatspace is.

Google brought up a bunch of porn and meat companies.

Comments

  • Meatspace, as opposed to cyberspace. I know, there's not much to say about the real world.
  • ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    Ohhhhhhh.

    Meatspace!

    I get it now!
  • Ohhhh! -blinking light-
  • edited 2011-01-09 05:47:23
    Clean your room little Billy

    Meatspace?


  • Because you never know what you might see.
  • But you never had any to begin with.
    And then IJBM resembled Silent Hill.
  • Decapodian: Saya no Uta?
  • IJBM that OP started this thread, without a valid complaint.
  • Ironically, this should be in IJBM, huh?
  • ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^

    They're made out of Meat


    by Terry Bisson


    "They're made out of meat."


    "Meat?"


    "Meat. They're made out of meat."


    "Meat?"


    "There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the
    planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through.
    They're completely meat."


    "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the
    stars."


    "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The
    signals come from machines."


    "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."


    "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the
    machines."


    "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe
    in sentient meat."


    "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient
    race in the sector and they're made out of meat."


    "Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that
    goes through a meat stage."


    "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of
    their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span
    of meat?"


    "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A
    meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."


    "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei.
    But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."


    "No brain?"


    "Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of
    meat!"


    "So... what does the thinking?"


    "You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The
    meat."


    "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"


    "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is
    the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"


    "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."


    "Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get
    in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."


    "So what does the meat have in mind?"


    "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the
    universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."


    "We're supposed to talk to meat?"


    "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello.
    Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."


    "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"


    "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."


    "I thought you just told me they used radio."


    "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how
    when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at
    each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."


    "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you
    advise?"


    "Officially or unofficially?"


    "Both."


    "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all
    sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or
    favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole
    thing."


    "I was hoping you would say that."


    "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with
    meat?"


    "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it
    going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"


    "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but
    they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which
    limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making
    contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."


    "So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."


    "That's it."


    "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who
    have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't
    remember?"


    "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and
    smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."


    "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's
    dream."


    "And we can mark this sector unoccupied."


    "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone
    interesting on that side of the galaxy?"


    "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class
    nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be
    friendly again."


    "They always come around."


    "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would
    be if one were all alone."


     

  • Best sci-fi short story ever.
  • Clean your room little Billy
    @ Ponicala: Is that a reference to the blog Saya in Underworld, or something else?
  • ^^^ that was awesome. 
  • But you never had any to begin with.
    ^^ Saya no Uta is a visual novel.
  • Clean your room little Billy
    ^ Ah, so it is. Does it have a meatspace too?
  • ʍɥɐʇ po ʎon ɔɐll ɐ ɾoʞǝ ʍıʇɥonʇ ɐ dnuɔɥlıuǝ
    I wish meatspace had a never-ending supply of meat, cause I could sure use some meat right now.
  • yea i make potions if ya know what i mean
    Ew.

    Unless said meat was deep fried chicken, I'd be driven to suicide fairly quickly.
  • an endless supply of double downs. Truly a heaven on earth. 
  • yea i make potions if ya know what i mean

    SmileyCentral.com
  • ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    So this is now the thread about all things meat-related.

    I nominate venison-jerky as the best form, followed by deep-fried... anything.

    I can't stand rare meat though, ick.
  • I prefer raw bear meat. I kill the bear by staring at it in the eyes, then round house kick it once to tenderize it.
  • yea i make potions if ya know what i mean
    Chicken. Deep fried chicken.
  • ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    Bacon. Deep fried bacon.
  • yea i make potions if ya know what i mean
    Chicken, Deep Fried Chicken.
  • A deep-fryer for every hour?

    EDIT: Hey, I haven't gotten around to saying it yet.
  • We need souleater sushi.
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