Everest Watches The Classiest Anime Around So You Don't Have To (NSFW)

All Nines

So, being the bandwagoner that I am, I saw all these funny liveblogs going on and thoguht to myself "I wanna try my hand at this". "But wait," I though to myself later. "What if I'm no good at this." My solution? Watch stupid shit that's funny enough by itself and see how that works.

So I'm gonna start with Gantz, because I haven't watched it yet and because it's fairly short compared to other stuff I could be watching.

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So, in the OP, the first images we see after the title of the show itself are shots of a big city. Then the lyrics come in.

"Now listen, yo!/People put your guns up!"

Okay, that's about enough of the OP for my tastes.

Anywho, first, a room. Nothing special, just some sunlight shining through the windows and Latin chanting or something.

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When suddenly a giant black ball appears in the room.

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And then the scene ends. Great start we're off to.

Next, we have your typical, bored, poorly-animated (or maybe just ugly, who can say) high school student, Kei Kurono:

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He's in math class, watching some trigonometry go down when all of a sudden he fantasizes about his teacher's clothing disappearing. And when she turns around, BAM, titties. Real classy.

Then he turns his head, and every other girl in the class is naked as well.

I think this guy is already my favorite anime protagonist ever. No lie.

And of course it doesn't take long for his classmates to call him on that pesky boner of his. Why were you looking there anyway, creeps? Can't a guy have his skeevy fantasies in peace nowadays without everyone looking at his chub? <

Then he walks by a homeless guy sleeping in the rain, and, well . . .

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Then he sees a store with a poster of a bikini-clad girl, and of course, he still can't keep it down.

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OH LOOK, some guy robbed the store. Again. And of course, the fat clerk is running after him. Leaving the store unattended . . .

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Waitin' for a train now. And Kei's pissed because he spent 4300 yen on a magazine rather than stealing it like that other guy did. And then he gets double pissed because an elderly woman asks if she's at the right section of the station, because he doesn't get to look at his magazine in public again.

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(I suppose it's worth mentioning that he didn't actually say that. He was just thinking it).

What a loser, paying for porn. Then we get to hear the mental ramblings of a bunch of other losers, then those losers being mad at a drunk homeless guy.

Oh, here's a nice gem:

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And another:

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And another:

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Solution: Think with your genitals instead. Works for this guy.

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Then he recognizes some slick-haired kid, Masaru Kato, that he apparently used to play with in elementary school but who is now apparently a punk or something, or so he heard.

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He' s also apparently really fucking tall.

Then Mr. Drunkard falls onto the train tracks. And as you'd expect, no one goes to help him, even though the train is probably a good ways off.

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Oh wait, except for Masaru. And people still can't be assed to help him lift the homeless dude off the tracks, instead expecting the station attendant to show up, even though he'll never show up because this is anime and that would be too easy.

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Please. Like Kei's going to risk his neck for that guy. Well, unless people keep staring at him to do it instead of, you know, helping him themselves.

It takes way too long for Kei to man up and get the guy off the tracks, of course, so by the time he's safe, the train is coming. And it's not gonna stop either, because it''s an express train (I guess). And so Kei and Masaru try to outrun the train. Which works about as well as you'd expect.

Soooo, when Kei's head goes flying, something funny happens: he's still thinking stuff.

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Of course, the rest of it basically amounts to "STOP LOOKING AT ME GUYS ISN'T IT BAD ENOUGH MY HEAD POPPED OFF GOD!", but the important part is that he retained cognizance . . . for a couple seconds, anyway.

And this is what' s left of poor Kei-chan as we reach the halfway point of the episode.

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I'll cover the second half of this episode in my next entry.

All Nines

Dammit, editing time.

EDIT: Apparently I fucked the whole page up. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Unknown_Entity

Whatever you used to generate that html, it did it wrong :P  Fixing for you.

Forzare

And that's why I just build my liveblog entries in the post box.

All Nines

Fixed it, though; I used the Insert Image function in the Comment Box. Now to see if it still works with the Toggle Box.

EDIT: Can't get Toggle Box to work with it. -summons @Unknown_Entity back again- Or I can make you guys deal with the loading times on pages again.

nohaynicklibre

This show looka ameeaeizing

All Nines

^I know, right?

Crimson

Wow, the protagonist of this anime is even more of an asshole than I remember.

I will definitely follow this.

delta534

The toggle box is still not working right, but I cannot wait for part 2.

Vorpy

holy what the fuck

Malkavian

I remember ragequitting this anime around episode 4.

Have fun!

Unknown_Entity

There we go. Thank you HTML tidy.

Vorpy

So Unknown_Entity, what do you think of TV Tropes and what not?

All Nines

Thanks, UE! It's still a little sketchy, but hopefully I'll have it figured out by next episode.

Scrye2

My friend keeps wanting me to do shit like this, but she wants to do more of a MST3K type thing by just recording the conversations we have whenever she forces me to watch her anime of the week. Unfortunately for her, but fortunately for anyone who doesn't feel the need to hear me bitch and moan for 20 minutes at a time, I've learned not to watch anything she recommends to me, so it's too little to late.

You have my blessings, though. May you retain your sanity.

All Nines

Thanks to everyone who's gonna follow this!

EDIT: Well, I finally fixed everything. I'm going to use toggleboxes for every picture now. That seems to work fine.

All Nines

Now I'm gonna compile a list of candidates for anime to liveblog here.

-Gantz

-Narutaru

-Highschool of the Dead

-Elfen Lied

-Seikon no Qwaser

-Queen's Blade

Good list, y/n?

nohaynicklibre

Boku no Pico

Crimson

Bible Black

/obligatory

All Nines

^^, ^ . . . No, that's a bit much.

All Nines

On second thought, Gantz is starting to creep me out too. I'm gonna post the second entry once I've gotten all the pictures uploaded.

All Nines

As promised, here's Gantz episode 1, part 2.

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When we return, Kei and Masaru are seen running from the white light of the train that hit them and reappearing in the room that the black ball appeared in earlier on.

Still panting from that exhilarating run, they see a whole bunch of people, and a dog, near the ball, staring at them.

Once again, we move to a different scene less than a minute into the previous one. This time, it turns out people are actually lamenting the loss of Kei and Masaru. Then Mr. Drunkard, still groggy, gets up.

If ever there were a person to give one’s life for.

Then we go back to the room with the ball again. And we get closer looks at everyone in this after-life moment.

Old dude says this is probably Heaven, glasses dude says it’s probably not, and then Masaru thinks to look out the window.

Sadly for them, they can’t touch the window.

Now that my shitty, obligatory invocation of dated memes is over, glasses dude says that they already tried everything from banging on the walls (which they couldn’t touch), to their phones (which are dead like they‘re supposed to be), to yelling (no response).

At the train station, all the evidence that Kei and Masaru died, save for their bags, is gone.

Then back in the room, glasses dude suggests that everyone introduce themselves, tell their occupations, and how they died.

On account of this guy:

This should be a blast.

In order from above: Yamada Masashi, grade one teacher, died while riding his scooter (why does that not surprise me); Suzuki Gorou, politician, died of cancer; lazy bastard (course, Kei‘s pissed that he didn‘t introduce himself, despite being hesitant to do so himself), asks for cigarettes; Nishi Jouichirou, grade 8, died from a fall; guy from the Yakuza; creepy-as-fuck guy from the Yakuza; doesn’t get to introduce himself ‘cause he’s a dog.

Of course, Kei can’t introduce himself without bitching at Masaru for getting him killed. Now Masaru feels bad.

Aw, don’t feel bad, Masaru. It’s just Kei.

Then Masaru says Kei used to be sharper. Whodathunkit? And also that he used to be the leader of his group of friends.

KIND WORDS! THEY BUUUUUUUUURN! Did someone say OTP?

Apparently Kei was a really fast runner as a grade schooler. And got away from bullies by hopping off of bridges and--

Wait whut? Why can’t we have this Kei instead?

Called it.

No one told me this show was a sappy romance, srsly.

Suddenly legs and strobe lights!

And nekkidness!

And she arrives clinging to Kei, for some reason. This is her:

And this is Kei's reaction to her (after getting a boner, of course):

After another close-up of her boobs for no important reason, cigarette dude snaps a photo and--

Wait, I thought we already established that your phone doesn’t work here.

Her wrist is bleeding, so someone guesses she killed herself. Kei checks her pulse. At the chest.

She wakes up . . . For about ten seconds. And then . . .

. . . Oh. Of course the creepy Yakuza member is a rapist. Of course. IhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshowIhatethisshow

FUCKIN’ FUCK YOU GUYS COME ON!

Once again, Masaru mans up to the task, once this girl starts screaming.

You say that as if it’s a bad thing.

Then unfitting music plays and the guy punches Masaru off of him. And nekkid girl has a crush on Masaru. Can’t really blame her; he’s the only character I like so far. Too bad he like Kei instead.

FUCK, YOU GUYS, GET OUTTA THERE! Except for you, of course, Mr. Rapist. You can stay.

Translation plz?

Guess not; episode’s over.

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Sorry there was so little humor, but . . . seriously, I haven't raged at a show this hard since School Days.