I have a problem

Dr_Ivo_Robotnik

I don't know what to do

Every day, I keep trying to achieve my dream of starting my own theme park. It is a simple dream, but it is a dream none the less. However, it is thwarted ever time. People don't like how I involve animals! It's perfectly humane, yet I keep being attacked!

I have to spend most of my budget on security, which is easily defeated, and when I handle the intruder myself, I keep on nearly dying in explosions. It's gotten so bad that sometimes I dream of a blue blur coming at me, ready to saw me in two, and I wake up screaming in terror

I've even started to forget my name. I keep on confusing it with a derogatory nickname that the intruder uses. It's a nightmare! And then when he gets those jewels... Oh god...

If this keeps up, I just... I don't know what I'll do

My name is Doctor Ivo Robotnik, and I have a hedgehog problem

Icalasari

...Well, the first step is admitting it?

Charlotte

Aww. If it makes you feel, better, Dr. R, I'll definitely visit your amusement park when it opens! I'll even try not to get thrown out by security for beating up the other children just because they're in line in front of me!

Bob

Y'know, I have a problem with hedgehogs, too.

Only my problem is slightly more illegal...

Dr_Ivo_Robotnik

...Bob, that is both creepy and perfect. If you are my personal body guard, then the trauma that hedgehog experiences may finally allow me to achieve my dream!

Bob

I would, but...

Okay, I'll consider it, at least. Will I get paid?

...I might have to discuss it with my parole officer first, though...

Dr_Ivo_Robotnik

You will get paid handsomely, Bob

And I already "discussed" with your parole officer. He said it was perfectly ok

Bob

Huh...

Well, in that case, I'll do it!

Also, my sidekick may or may not be a hedgehog. Is that cool?

Dr_Ivo_Robotnik

...Depends...

Icalasari

^

Central Avenue

What if her sidekick is an Electric Hedgehog Pokemon? A homophobic one?

Dr_Ivo_Robotnik

Then, Central, I would have to detonate a nuke and obliterate everyone and everything in a 10 mile radius

And hahah, Icalasari. I am ROLLING in Laughter >.>

Moron

Bob

Central, if you're implying what you seem to be implying, I may have to kill you...

Icalasari

...Central, even SUGGESTING that is worth of the death penalty, I hope you realize

Central Avenue

I implied nothing, good sirs. You inferred.

Icalasari

How many homophobic electric hedgehog pokemon could there be, Central?

Central Avenue

How would I know? Do I look like a homophobic electric hedgehog pokemon trainer?

*innocent whistle*

Icalasari

...Central, what did I tell you about going out and capturing homophobic electric hedgehog pokemon?

Bob

Dammit, Central...

Central Avenue

^^

*sighs* "Only on Tuesdays"...

Charlotte

*munches candy canes*

So, about that amusement park...

Elliot

Dammit Elise, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a goddamn hedgehog! Being short and covered in fur and spines doesn't make someone a hedgehog!

Bob

Quiet, Elliot. Humans are talking.

Elliot

>:[

Bob

And I've told you, my name is Bob now! Stop calling me Elise!

Elliot

Whatever, hedgehog hater.

Not that I know anything about being a hedgehog or anything...

Dr_Ivo_Robotnik

...I'm convinced that I may be on drugs now

Still doesn't match all that crack Sonic takes. Yes, the rings are crack. Why do you think he compulsively gathers them instead of doing the smart thing and coming in with a bullet proof vest?

Bob

Wait, so, if the rings are crack, does that mean that onion rings...

OH MY GOD

Elliot

Eh, you're not the only one, Robotnik. Elise... er, Bob, is a total pothead drunkard. Seriously, this chick's a complete wreck...

Charlotte

Father wears a bulletproof vest sometimes. Don't think he ever collects rings, though, 'cause those are kinda expensive. He says he could barely afford to buy Mother one for their wedding.

Bob

^^YOU SON OF A-

Y'know, I've always wanted to try hedgehog soup...