Feelings of Exclusion, and Cliquey Behaviours

Nova

I've recently had a few Tropers PM me about how they feel like they don't really fit in at TVTropes, and how they've noticed that people tend to stick to certain groups.

Like, I noticed just now- I slipped really easy into a discussion with INUH and DYRE.

Why is this so?

ClockworkUniverse

That's how humans function. Kind of annoying. I'm open to hanging around anyone who isn't an asshole, though.

Nova

Hmmm...

I nudged a couple of them towards some of the megathreads, like the Jammies thread and PYRT. But I'm not sure how useful that'll be.

I don't know. I try my best to be open to talking to everyone, but even I slip into behaviour like this.

What can you do to alleviate this and make people feel welcome?

ClockworkUniverse

I'd say the Jammies thread is better for that than PYRT. More of a community.

I think the way to feel welcomed is to pick a place to hang out and do so.

Nova

Yeah.

The Jammies thread is great for getting to know people and getting along with them.

PYRT is more of a get-your-face-known thing. A way to let people know you exist, for people who don't go into the Jammies thread.

Hmmm... Wouldn't that tend to lead to further cliquey behaviour on your own part?

ClockworkUniverse

Yes, but it would lead to fitting in somewhere. And they can hang around multiple places.

Nova

Ah, okay. So it would be like establishing a home for yourself for a while, acquaintancing yourself with your neighbours, then leaving to explore town?

ClockworkUniverse

Yeah. Pretty much.

Nova

Okay.

I think I'll keep nudging anxious tropers to the Jammies/Cuddlepile threads, then.

Thanks.

... This thread has now served its' purpose >_>

DYRE

If "cliquey behavior" just means getting along better with certain people than others, then I really don't see why it's a bad thing.  And, in fact, I think it's probably a good thing.  If you mean like, "cliquey behavior" in the sense that it makes it hard for other people to join in a conversation or whatever, then I'm not completely sure how you talking to INUH and I relates to that...

ClockworkUniverse

^I think the problem is how it makes it harder for newcomers to fit in. Though I didn't experience that, myself.

Nova

Yes, in regards to new people who feel they are not really fitting in.

And DYRE- I mentioned that because the three of us really were part of a clique.

Central Avenue

So, is it odd then for me to say I don't feel I really fit in in the Jammies thread?

Noimporta

That's how humans function. Kind of annoying. I'm open to hanging around anyone who isn't an asshole, though.

Almost everyone thinks they act this way, but most of our prejudices and biases regarding who would we rather hang out with usually work on a subconscious level. Just as an example, what exactly constitutes an asshole to you (general you)? Some people are far more tolerant of certain behaviours that others find unpleasant and vice-versa, and that contributes to the formation of cliques, even if they are done with the best intentions in mind.

ClockworkUniverse

Saying "an asshole" takes less time than "what I perceive as an asshole." Did I claim to be objective in my asshole-judging abilities?

Tnophelia

Everyone is an asshole really, they just don't know it, and tend to think others are more of an asshole than they are.

Noimporta

No, did I claim you claimed that? The point is that, even when we try to avoid cliquey behaviour, our own preconceptions make us act that way anyway, and that's not necessarily a bad thing as long as we are aware of this and avoid falling into, for example, an "us vs them" mentality. 

^ Except Mr Rogers.

ClockworkUniverse

^Ah. I see. Yes, that's true.

Tnophelia

But yeah, why hang out with badasses and people who love fetishes, when you can hang out with people who want to talk about people being banned, or hang out with people being cute and hugging, or people who mindlessly post inanity, or people who want to jabber in Troper Updates.

randomtropeloser

I only sort of noticed this, myself.  None of the people I've tried getting to know on the fora seemed to mind talking to me when I asked them to.  Then again, I don't really have that many close friends on the fora, but whatever. 

Tnophelia

Shall we define the stereotypical high school-style cliques we have here on Tv Tropes/IJBM2?

ClockworkUniverse

Sounds fun.

randomtropeloser

Personally, I think this entire board is like a sub-clique of TvT.  We're kind of like the angry goth kids who smoke behind the school and try to avoid all the drama and assorted stupidity that goes on on campus.

DYRE

I'm trying to avoid drama and stupidity?
I thought I was here just because the TV Tropes forum is usually really boring.

randomtropeloser

Yeah, there's that too.

ClockworkUniverse

I usually find both pretty good.

randomtropeloser

Honestly, the main reason I spend so much time here is because I can't use TvTropes from this computer.  Long story.  And no, it's not because I was banned.  I really like the small group we've got going here though, you guys are pretty awesome, and the relatively small size of this board has made it possible for me to get to know you.

ClockworkUniverse

Yeah, I like this board too. Great hangout.

Is the inability to access TV Tropes related to your post in Edit Banned?

Tnophelia

I thought of us like the ugly band kids who never socialized with anyone beyond our niche clubs who hated everything everyone enjoyed out of spite, and watched the Disney Channel and HSM.

randomtropeloser

^^ Yes.  My younger brother made a troll account there once to spite me, and the thing refuses to die.  I've used the account killer on it multiple times, but it still registers me as being logged in as him.

^ That's partially true, but it's kind of a harsh portrayal of us, I think.  We aren't ugly at least.  Not as far as I know, anyway.  We are sort of like the social outcasts of the fora though.

ClockworkUniverse

^^Only with better viewing tastes because Tropers.

^Clear your cookies. Logging out is a bit broken on TV Tropes.