America's Got Talent

RedEyedAbyss

Rant up ahead:

First off, I know how much you producers have a hard-on for Jackie Evancho, but dagnabbit, you mention her and Michael Grimm, but no Prince Poppycock? He was easily the most outrageous yet talented performer you've ever had on your show and amassed a huge fanbase. I'd even go as far as to say he's part of the reason why you have more variety this year, because he showed that crazy works. Sure, he ended up fourth, but Jackie was second, and you still never shut up about her.

Second, what the hell is wrong with you judges? You eliminate several acts on the spot in Vegas because they screwed up or made a bad decision, and yet let in other acts that screwed up royally. What were you thinking when you let in Dani Shay and not the other singers? She completely flubbed her first attempt, and you let her go again. Fine. But her second try was mediocre at best. Why reward that over actual talent? (okay, I know the answer already, but bear with me) And the talking bird fails to do what it's supposed to, yet is allowed to continue? What of that guy that faked impaling himself? That's just wrong on so many levels, and you let this wacko in? Along with the utterly stupid acts like Sam B and the kids not named Anna Graceman (and I'm still wary of her becoming the next overpimped act), are you trying to pander to Vote For The Worst? At least if you're going that route, you should have let Leonid The Magnificent in, because he at least has charisma and creativity. Or Armand and Angelina, which was one of the most memorable (-y bad. Hilariously bad) performances in the auditions.

Speaking of which, what is it with the auditions that just vanish into thin air? I would have loved to see what kind of crazy stuff they came up with next, but no. You act like they never existed. And what about that creepy three-headed girl? The rock pianist? Even in season one, what happened to the saxophone dude? Dammit, it's this nuttiness that compels me to watch this show and put up with all the bullshit, and yet you pimp the more mundane, marketable singing acts. The only first-place contestant that was actually memorable was Terry Fator, the singing ventriloquist. Why? Because he was actually unique. This is the kind of thing that makes you different from American Idol. That's what you should play up.

It's a pity the amusingly stupid acts were excised out, leaving a bunch that are just stupid. And yet I'm still going to watch you. At least there are still a few charismatic acts I like, so it won't be total masochism. I think Melissa Villasenor has what it takes to reach Prince Poppycock's level of showmanship.

You may now commence mocking my terrible taste in television.