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Nature

HatterHatter
edited 2011-06-10 08:11:25 in Meatspace
Glaives are better.

Hey guys, guess what?

Mother Nature is the biggest bitch in the universe.

The same ecosystem that gave us kittens and puppies also gave us anglerfish and ant zombies. And made the puppies shit everywhere and gave the kittens bacteria THAT FUCKING DRIVE YOU INSANE.

"But Hatter, without Mother Nature humans wouldn't be here!"

Yes. Just like a drug addict of a mother who spends her days doing meth and lets her children fend for themselves. We owe this planet for our creation, and the fact that we're more dangerous than most any other species. Nothing more. 

I'm not saying that there aren't nice things in nature. Flowers are nice. Kittens are nice. But would a loving ecosystem give us spider scorpions, or a parasite that turns crabs into trannie Flood monsters? Damn right it wouldn't. Humans and the animals we've affected most - cats, dogs, certain kinds of plants - are easily the best thing that came out of this goddamn ecosystem, and I wouldn't cry a single tear if we destroyed the rest of it, so long as we survived and there weren't any bot flies, trapdoor spiders or wasps that shoot acid out of their mouths.

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Comments

  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    > implying humans have the right to exist over anything else
  • MyrmidonMyrmidon
    > implying nature exists
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Meh.

    I don't care either way. But it always bugs me when people claim that humans have the right to exist over everything else.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    > Implying human- dammit cygan
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    ninja'd, eh?
  • HatterHatter
    edited 2011-06-10 08:34:06
    Glaives are better.

    Humanity has a right to exist over everything else because I'm human, and to say anything else would be a betrayal of my species.

    Also, humans feel bad when we kill something sentient. Animals? Shit, son, they'll wreck your shit and then laugh as you bleed in the dirt. Animals are assholes. They're way worse than humans ever were.

    EDIT: ever were. What the fuck is wrong with my grammar today?

  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    >implying Mother Nature can actually do a damn thing about it
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
     They're way worse than humans ever where.

  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    edited 2011-06-10 08:35:13
    Tableflipper
    a betrayal of my species.

    lol wut

    they'll wreck your shit and then laugh as you bleed in the dirt.

    but humans do that all the fucking time too if you count the species in general rather than specific individuals or specific small groups
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    And then we feel good about all the animals we try to save. Like pandas.
  • HatterHatter
    Glaives are better.

    Cygan, we always harm the animals we intend to kill and eat. But at least we make the effort to make it less painful via hypnosis, drugs and electrocution before we actually do the deed. And that's because people feel bad about causing pain.

    The next most intelligent species on the planet? Dolphins. And do you know what they do? THEY RAPE PORPOISES TO DEATH. For FUN. As depraved as humans are, at least when we do something awful like rape and kill chimpanzees, it's a fucking noteworthy occurrence that draws criticism. 

  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Cows. Rabbits.. Gazelle.

    What animals do these animals harm?

    Carrots, lettuce, grass, trees. What do any of these harm?

    Nothing. Yet we casually kill them for our own welfare, do we not?
  • HatterHatter
    Glaives are better.

    Better me than them.

    Have you ever worked with cows? I have, and they're goddamn disgusting. Worse than any human. At least humans don't walk around in herds, all with anal prolapses and flies buzzing all over them. Also, they're retarded and annoying. Rabbits are cute, but they're also vermin. And gazelles are just straight up prey animals.

  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    edited 2011-06-10 08:50:43
    Tableflipper
    But at least we make the effort to make it less painful via hypnosis, drugs and electrocution before we actually do the deed.

    ...sometimes we do.

    I'm pretty sure rabbits harm other animals too, and wild ones tend to fuck up farms.

    Pandas are too lazy to do anything though.

    it's a fucking noteworthy occurrence that draws criticism.

    Do we even know of dolphins that criticize each other right now?
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    And there's the problem, see. You're stating that your state of being is inherently better than the others, and that you have a right to treat them as you will for your own benefit.

    Eh. Not like I care- I accepted this a long time ago.

    But you also need to realize that humans are not inherently better than animals.

    We rely on tools we make to be better than them. Without tools, we're nothing better than pray animals ourselves.
  • HatterHatter
    edited 2011-06-10 08:54:15
    Glaives are better.

    Pandas are proof that humanity gives way too many shits about nature. They're useless, stupid animals that are too retarded to breed, and humanity is trying to save them because they wook pwetty.

    Any other animal would have killed the pandas and then pissed on their corpses to mark it as their own. Humans are the only predators that give a shit.

    EDIT: That's like saying that without their teeth, claws and muscle, lions are just prey animals themselves. It's a meaningless statement.

    Humans are better than other animals because we feel empathy, remorse, we innovate, create and imagine on a regular basis and without outside intervention. Our state of being is way higher than any other animal. Full stop. We ARE inherently better. 

  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    I'm pretty sure rabbits harm other animals too, and wild ones tend to fuck up farms.

    I dunno about the first, but the second is not relevant here, as it's a direct cause of harm to unnatural objects, see.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    edited 2011-06-10 08:53:18
    Tableflipper
    -imagines a mouse beating up a panda and pissing on the corpse-

    I guess those old violent cartoons of mickey were relatively accurate
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    ... Huh.
  • HatterHatter
    Glaives are better.

    Mice are assholes.

    But I was really more implying that other predators would more likely kill pandas than save them.

  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-06-10 10:36:46
    They're somethin' else.
    My feelings on nature and animal kingdom, in the words of Samurai Shodown's Hattori Hanzo:

    "To die is not shameful, but better you than me."
  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)
    I'm disappointed that this isn't about the scientific journal.
  • MyrmidonMyrmidon
    The scientific journal was proven to just be a set of incoherent sophistries by the Schon scandal, anyway.
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    Can we have horrible pics and footage of stuff happening in the bio-industry to test how squaemish we are? I currently eating, so it's the best time for a goretest!

    In all seriousness, cockroaches. Hardiest species on the planet.
  • HatterHatter
    Glaives are better.
    Actually, that'd probably be water bears. After all, cockroaches can't survive in the vacuum of space.
  • MyrmidonMyrmidon
    It sure is nice that nature is a reified object that we can judge from a distance!
  • HatterHatter
    Glaives are better.

    I'm not the first one to do it, Myrmy. People have been talking about "stop raping Mother Earth" and "preserve Mother Nature" ever since people saw a picture of Earth from the Moon and went "dur hurr Urf is purdy."

    If I judge Mother Nature as an anthropomorphic entity, it's because I'm judging it by the terms of those who came before me.

  • MyrmidonMyrmidon
    They did it first, therefore I should keep doing it!
  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)
    «The scientific journal was proven to just be a set of incoherent sophistries by the Schon scandal, anyway.»
    But the Schön scandal was about falsification of data, not sophistry!
  • HatterHatter
    Glaives are better.

    I'm just engaging with them on the level they've already chosen, Myrmy.

    Please, stop. I'm allergic to straw.

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