Conflicts between my personality and value system.

Bradamante

I'm a naturally excitable person, but I value rationality and logic. And that's terrible. It's a burden to value rationality. It's a burden to have to keep admitting you're wrong when you've just discovered that you are. Charging ahead in your argument and trying to make your opponent shut up through bullying is easy. It's a burden to take a deep breath when you're getting high strung or overattached to your position. Making a fuss is easy. It's a burden to seriously consider every opinion, regardless of who states it or what it is, before you discard the unresonable opinions. Agreeing with the people who look and think like you is easy.

My personality is naturally excitable. I'm naturally geared toward stubbornness in argument, making a fuss, and agreeing with the people who look and think like me. But those are all character flaws, so I work to fix them. They're deeply ingrained character flaws, so it's hard work. I wish I didn't have to work twice as hard as the more stoic, levelheaded people for half the result.

Gelzo

I don't think there are many people who don't value rationality, we just aren't all good with it. I don't think there's anyone who hasn't let emotion cloud their judgement at some point, either.

So I don't see how your position is all that unique unless you're having this problem more frequently.

AHR

Be excitably rational, then.

ninjaclown

Pardon me, but who are you?

MillerCross

^Leigh Sabio.

evilneko

Beholderess

This one values freedom, individuality, free choice and making one's own way. Standing alone against the heavens. Values-wise, this one is radically Chaotic Good.

But personally, this one prefers to have a clear rules to follow, defer to authority, and is ill-suited for being independent. She needs outside direction and purpose. She is also not a good person, and prone to rules-lawyering. So personality-wise, this one is Lawful Neutral.

Needless to say, it is...contradictory.

Alkthash

Well you're applying D&D terms to real life. That's a mistake right there.

Beholderess

This one knows that such terms are inapplicable, but in this particular case they illustrate the nature of contradiction quite well.

Alkthash

It's only a contradiction if you look at a person like you would look at a character blurb. People are multifaceted and have different beliefs in different contexts. You value those things in the abstract, but in personal life you find them confusing. Just like how I value emergency service personnel but I have little desire for that sort of career myself. Or in your case just think of your desire for authority as using your freedom to give up your freedom and hand the choices over to somebody else.

Beholderess

Well, that is how this  one currently  justifies it. But alas, that's not terribly convincing.