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Wanting to die
But knowing you lack the balls to do it the quick way, and the patience to do it the slow way.
Comments
Hooray.
*Wow their site design is so 90s.
(and by minority, I mean only me) opinion, and thus means that
everything I lived for to this day for the past five years has been a
complete lie.
Welcome to adulthood, enjoy your stay.
^^^ You're not helping.
Too true. Doesn't mean I'm selfless enough to not do it though. Just too cowardly.
I think that what you call cowardice may partially be respect for the feelings of others that is holding you back, but whatever.
An intense depression brought on by the fact that I am in the minority
(and by minority, I mean only me) opinion, and thus means that
everything I lived for to this day for the past five years has been a
complete lie.
I do not really understand what you mean by this, so I would really appreciate it if you could elaborate a bit. I understand if you do not feel comfortable doing that, but I do think it would help you feel better.
Life is just like that. Sometimes, you have to let go of what is the efficient path, or the most objectively successful path to chase what makes you, personally, happy. The biggest struggle of my own early adult life has been separating expectations from reality and what's actually good for me.
A lot of the time, this means working some shitty jobs for cash while you figure things out.
Look, that whole expectation -- go to college/uni at 18, get a degree by 21, go on to a successful career instantly -- is an unrealistic ideal that hurts a lot of intelligent young people with a lot of potential. It's really important that you make your decisions for yourself.
The above was derived from the whole concept that ambitions are tied to college at the seams. This is reality, not some P&P game. Things can work in unexpected ways, especially when you least expect it.
What.
People tend to expect that?
>It's really important that you make your decisions for yourself.
As opposed to...? How does that tie into the whole expectation thing?
Thank you for giving me more information about that (or at least telling me where to find it). I was actually a bit relieved once I found out what was bothering you because I could definitely understand why that would trouble you. I mean, I think your written work is kind of like your own baby (a brainchild if you will) or a part of yourself. I hope this does not sound like I am just spouting off about something about which I know nothing, but I believe that Cygan is right about this. I think that a lot of writing skill is related to practice. If you stop, I think that will only make you more depressed.
From what I can tell, you are (and were) deeply invested in your work so when people are annoyed about a significant aspect of it, I think it makes sense for you to feel bad about that so I definitely think you should not feel bad about that.
I wish I had better advice to give here though. I am afraid that I am no expert on writing, so I cannot really offer anything specific to that subject, unfortunately. Basically, I guess all I can say is that things will get better, even if they do not get better in the way that you might expect.