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How do I stop behaving like a solipsist?
I'm rather sure I don't exist in any meaningful sense... but I keep behaving like I do.
Generally I don't have much difficulty dismissing everything else as smoke and mirrors, so to speak, but I seem to still be irreversibly bound to a sense of self which I honestly can't seem to dismiss.
It sorta tends to make me come off as massively egotistical, which isn't really cool with me. I'm trying to play this game properly... in a sense... but some buried facet of my mind leads me to behave like I'm somehow more real than any of you, which doesn't really make any sense at all. Very silly of me.
So how do I kill my sense of self?
Comments
I'm trying to destroy it... not assimilate it into some new flavour of silly nonsense.
Tnu... see previous comment.
I mean ask yourself this... If you were living in a mostly wrecked post-apocalyptic world... had by some small mercy come across one of the few secure little communities in said world and set up shop there.... got yourself a few friends and seemed to actually be making a life for yourself again.... and someone then came and blew the joint up with a nuke....
.... wouldn't you rather die at ground zero than suddenly find that your sanctuary is destroyed, your friends are gone, your security is lost, your hair and skin are sloughing off your body, almost anyone new you come across is going to treat you like a monstrosity or at best a second-class sub-person.... AND you are guaranteed to keep living (witness to a continual cycle of loss) until felled by blunt trauma?
I wouldn't do that to Moira. I just wouldn't. In all my playthroughs of Fallout 3 I've never once nuked Megaton.... and if I was going to, I'd mercy-kill Moira first.
@Bon ... Get with the program. I'm 27. This shit has been covered.
Your second point though... hmm... if we had the technology for such things you'd probably be onto something. If I could legally get my conscious brain functions transferred over to a synthetic brain without any of those pesky survival-based override systems... it would then be simple to self-terminate, in theory. Well, unless someone pre-programmed said brain to be unable to do so. That would suck massively.
Heh. I used to think I could override all my brain's hardwiring by sheer force of will if I tried hard enough.... Didn't really work out. Figured some day I'd just be able to tell my heart to stop beating and I'd just drop dead on the spot. Fantasized about that for years. ^_^;;
But I think I reached my limit.
Bah. You've got your perspective. I've got mine:
Your views on suicide are heretical to me... the words of someone who promotes pain, suffering and oppression. A malevolent disregard for quality of experience in favour of brute perpetuation.
Life is rare, yes... but becomes less rare the more it breeds, and breeding is what it is all about. The singular functionality of that which you consider wondrous and precious is to reduce the very reason you consider it so. Don't you see the absurdity in it?
I look at life... I think... Yes, it happens, but it has to end. There is no beauty in the unending, and there is only revulsion for that which actively tries continually not to end. And the sooner it does end, the more poignant its brief presence. Every moment longer it drags out cheapens it further and further.
And there we have it. If you can promote your opinion as though it be some sort of objective way of things... well, there is nothing stopping me doing likewise. I acknowledge though that "value" and "worth" are part of the human delusion... the crude and fantastical code by which we excuse our continuation. That the Universe has no opinion nor perspective... no "should" nor "ought"... but still.
I said before that I didn't want to discuss this.
I don't want to discuss it because between vitophiles and myself, this topic causes intense dissonance... and I don't like that. I don't like suffering, whether minor or major...
So...
... Yeah.
Pain... I can't override it. Physical hypersensitivity issues probably.
I react to it strangely sometimes, but it never goes away.
Philosophy is cool, but sometimes, they go too far and start sounding crazy. Like those guys who wonder if they exist or not. I have three words for them: Cogito, ergo sum.
Sometimes I wonder if I exist.
Then I man the fuck up and say that if I didn't already exist, I do now. Dico, ergo est.
The question exists. It can't not exist, because I observe that it exists, and I have no evidence against it existing.
Chagen, the reason why the Cogito makes any sense at all is because Descartes wasn't discounting the possibility that everything he experienced was either biased or the product of external meddling.
There is the possibility that everything is external meddling, but the much simpler and more concise explanation is "things exist independent of each other".