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The Difference Between Low Self Esteem and Realism

AHRAHR
edited 2011-05-27 05:17:56 in General
IJBM how the two often are kinda switched around a bit. Saying "I suck at X" does not mean you always have low self esteem. At the same time, it is very foolish to take everything you can't do as a crushing blow to your confidence. I think if more people just tried to keep their emotions out of it, and assess a situation logically, there would be less weepy people, and more people who can just accept where they have problems and where they do not.

Comments

  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    I suck at maths.

    Is this low self-esteem? No. It is a true fact. I cannot do even basic maths- nothing beyond XX * XX.

    I accept this. I also accept that I do have skills in other areas. Maths is not one.

    etc etc
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    Realism? You can't suck at a concept!

    ...or can you.
  • MousaThe14MousaThe14
    Writer, Artist, Obscure.
    I've never heard of this correlation before.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    ^
    It is basically taking the idea of being bad in one thing to extremes, also it probably comes up a lot in those who already have some degree of self esteem issues.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Self-esteem problems also crop up a lot in people with depression. In that state of mind, it's very easy to correlate the two.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    You obviously don't go to the angst thread, Mousa.
  • MousaThe14MousaThe14
    Writer, Artist, Obscure.
    Nope. I hate megathreads, I wouldn't touch those with a nine and a half foot pole. I just don't associate "Realism" with "Low self-esteem". But then I find the issues of my own confidence issues to stem far more than from a "I can't, whaaaaaaaaa, so I must suck  at everything because reality sucks and all that."
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    It's because the association is wrong, M.

    But it's a common malconception. Especially around TvT.
  • BecNoirBecNoir
    edited 2011-05-27 08:33:26
    Mexican fag
    See also: tnu1139.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Not really.

    AHR is talking about the people who go "NO, U ARE AWESOME!" when you say something like "NAh, I don't know, I don't draw well/play well/etc etc" as if you aknowledging your flaws somehow meant that you're a manic-depressive...person...thing.
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    ^This. I actually keep self-criticism to myself because everyone always takes it as fishing for compliments.
  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR

    Low self-efficacy. Folks seem to forget that one.

    While low self-esteem is self-doubt in what you ARE, low self-efficacy is self-doubt in what you DO.
    I'm pretty familiar with the latter.
    I don't think too badly of myself as a conscious entity... but I don't like to try new things because I'm sure I'll probably screw them up. Not because of my being a walking failcake, but because I generally lack the skills to get things done right.


    As for convincing folk that your acknowledging your own shortcomings is NOT fishing for compliments...  it depends how you word it. I usually manage it by being TOTALLY socially inappropriate. Would someone who says "I'm just about strong enough to kick a crippled kid out of his wheelchair, if I get a running start"  sound like they're fishing for compliments to you?

  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    I think it might be not because you think you won't succeed, it's because some people tell OTHERS that they can't succeed because the goal in mind is not realistic.


    Like, somebody trying to make a grand painting of a woman and attempt to sell it for over 1,000,000 dollars. Telling other people it's unlikely because it's not realistic is ________, forget the word for it.
  • AHRAHR
    Well, I didn't have the wangst thread in mind, so I'm not necessarily approaching it from that angle, but it's a fair enough association, but not the first example I'd pick.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    people who go "NO, U ARE AWESOME!" when you say something like "NAh, I don't know, I don't draw well/play well/etc etc" 

    I always did find that weird...


    The guy hasn't even spoke to me for more than 3 private messages, either.

    It bothers me when people compliment those who are down while at the same time insulting those who are prideful when both are doing the same thing at the same efficiency, which is high enough for the prideful person's work to be as high level as his pride would suggest.
  • AHRAHR
    That's...that's just Ardiente...he's...he belongs in a hot blooded shonen animé. 
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    I heard he was banned so idk what he's like.
  • AHRAHR
    Forum banned. Yeah. Used to be Raw Power?
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-05-27 20:06:37
    All I know about him is that apparently, he's really... Well, I don't know what word best deskribes it, but he's an odd guy, going from what I've heard.

    ^Yep.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    Oh. Raw Power.

    Wait why was he banned anyway?
  • AHRAHR
    Acting like that, complete with youtube links to random songs, on OTC.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    "on OTC"

    Got it.
  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR
    They really shouldn't say things like that. It is deceptive and manipulative.  Sometimes they'll stop if you pretend to get angry at them for it.
    Like all:

    You: "I can't really do ____."
    Them: "Of course you can! You'll be great at it if you try!"
    You: "If I SAY I can't do it, then I MEAN I can't do it! What the fuck do you know anyway?! Are you implying I'm some sort of lesser lifeform if I can't do this? Is THAT YOUR PROBLEM?!"

    Then like... just glare at them silently for a few moments before bursting out laughing. ^_^
  • BobBob
    Hah, I used to do that all the time.

    Good times...
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