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What the hell have you been up to now, Mom?

ChagenChagen
edited 2011-05-03 19:05:01 in General
[tɕagɛn]
(Yeah, yeah, "Before I even clicked on it". This doesn't even have anything to do with me)

So my mom got this letter in the mail today. My dad gave it to her, but she didn't let me read it.

While typing up a topic on another forum, I heard my mom and dad talk about it. Apparently, she bounced a check and now whatever store she was at wants the money now. 

This was kinda normal, until my mom starts saying that she'd rather go to jail than pay the fine. Never mind that my dad, a lawyer (albeit, one who represents a company when they are sued, not a criminal one) was telling her she couldn't.

Then my mom launched into Conspiracy Theorist mode (she has so many crazy theories it's absolutely ridiculous) and going on and on about how people today are evil and only want to make other's suffer, and then she launched into a diatribe about how my dad is demon spawn from hell.

Yeah. And it didn't involve me in the slightest!
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Comments

  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Wait, you mean your dad was for a moment not the one with the conspiracy theory?
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    My dad has very few conspiracy theories. My mom is the crazy conspiracy theorist of the family.

    She doubts Osama's death and and is one of those "GUV'MENT DID 9/11" people.
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Oh no, not a truther.  The one thing that might be crazier than a birther.  Sometimes at least.
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    But I thought your dad is the one who believes that Obama is a secret commie nazi Muslim Jew un-American Kenyan or something.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    "But I thought your dad is the one who believes that Obama is a secret commie nazi Muslim Jew un-American Kenyan or something."

    Pretty much. He believes Obama to be a Commie Not-Born-In-America Muslim.
  • ninjaclownninjaclown
    You could record everything your parents say and call it "Sh#t my folks say!", I'm only partly kidding.
  • StormtroperStormtroper
    edited 2011-05-03 20:46:30
    I thought this was going to be one of those threads that totally looks like it was made by Chagen but isn't.

    Now, wouldn't it be better if she paid the demon spawns from hell their fine?
  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)
    «Oh no, not a truther.  The one thing that might be crazier than a birther.  Sometimes at least.»
    And much of the time they're the same thing.
  • RocketDudeRocketDude
    Poot dispenser here
    Three things:

    1. Why not just pay the fine?

    2. An honest-to-god 9/11 Conspiracy theorist? I thought you said she was a Democrat or something.

    Lastly...I can't resist:

    "STOP! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW! PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE!"
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    *fights the guard*

    (and then admits he doesn't know ES4 well enough to continue the meme)
  • TurtleTurtle
    I like turtles.
    THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Then you just run in circles shooting the guy with fireballs.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    Until you run out of magic.  :(
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Then you shoot him with arrows.
  • KomodinKomodin
    The Sonic Series Wiki Curator of TvTropes
    My word, Chagen, your life must be so interesting, mon...
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    Until you run out of arrows.  :(
  • KomodinKomodin
    The Sonic Series Wiki Curator of TvTropes
    Then you hookshot him.
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Then you get a claymore, since it has a lot of reach.
  • KomodinKomodin
    The Sonic Series Wiki Curator of TvTropes
    What if you can't lift it?
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Then you get a lighter claymore.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    What if you're a mage with a very, very low strength score?
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    ...then you should not run out of mana and have plenty of mana potions on hand?
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE BAD AT THE GAME?!?!?!
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    THEN YOU ASK A FRIEND TO DO IT FOR YOU!!!!!
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    WHAT IF YOU ARE LONELY AND HAVE NO FRIENDS?!?!?!!?!?!?
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    THEN YOU SUMMON YOUR FAVORITE ANIME CHARACTER TO DO IT FOR YOU!!!!
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    WHAT IF YOU DON'T WATCH ANIME????????
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    THEN YOU SUMMON BATMAN....
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    WHAT IF YOU'RE THE JOKER?!?
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Then you wouldn't have this little problem with the guards, now would you?
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