Thinking about what the world expects of me

DonZabu

I've been in a slump lately. I've been thinking about things, about where I stand in the world, and I can only come to one conclusion: I'm a train-wreck.

I am not and have never been a proactive person in the slightest; my entire attitude is passive. I have no social skills. Whatever talents I thought I had are average at best. My Asperger's habits are probably untreatable. I'm forced to consider whether or not the friends and family I do have treat me as a valuable person out of pity. I often find myself comparing my psychological outlook to that of Chris-chan.

And now, when looking ahead at the near future, at the prospect of holding down a job and a house, all I can feel is dread.

I read a Cracked article recently that introduced to me the concept of "having the next sixty years of your life planned out". Just thinking about that stifles my sense of adventure or fun about the world, regardless of how true-to-life it may or may not be.

tl;dr: I am forced to question everything that makes me me.

Turtle

Are you me?

I mean, I haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's, but apart from that...

ninjaclown

There's nothing wrong with that, you have to question everything, then determine if you should believe in it or not. It's the only way to affirm what's important to you. Whatever those things are may (and often will) change, just like humans are supposed to.

Stormtroper

Incoming flurry of Me Too posts.

Also, Me Too.

Schitzo

Yeah. It's not just you, Don.

DonZabu

^ It's not just me, other people have these problems also, or it's not just me thinking that I'm worthless?

ninjaclown

It's never just you. Emotional problems and insecurity have existed since the dawn of time, it's only now we're identifying them.

LouieW

DonZabu,
I've been in a slump lately. I've been thinking about things, about
where I stand in the world, and I can only come to one conclusion: I'm a
train-wreck.

I am not totally sure about this, but maybe a good distraction would really help you out. I understand that people tend to describe thinking things over in a positive light, but I think that plenty of times thinking like that can actually drain you or trap you as your short-term emotions merge with your thoughts and you get stuck in an useless mode of thought. I do not know if that is the case for you though.

If it is, then I would suggest doing something. If you have the time and access to transportation, volunteer work might work. Personally, I think helping out at animal shelters can be rewarding if you like pets or doing political stuff could be enjoyable if you like politics. Volunteer stuff can be pretty difficult or annoying I guess so just picking up a new hobby might be an idea to try out instead. I would recommend running or other physical exercise if you take up that option since it would serve a dual purpose. If all of that sounds like it takes too much motivation on your part, why not try starting something simpler? Sorry, I suppose I sounded like a self-help book there.

I am not and have never been a proactive person in the slightest; my
entire attitude is passive. I have no social skills. Whatever talents I
thought I had are average at best. My Asperger's habits are probably
untreatable. I'm forced to consider whether or not the friends and
family I do have treat me as a valuable person out of pity.

I am not an expert on Asperger's, but I do think that "social skills" can generally be improved if you really want to work on them. I think that kind of thing can be pretty tough going, but it being possible at least gives you some options.

And now, when looking ahead at the near future, at the prospect of holding down a job and a house, all I can feel is dread.

I am pretty sure that is a common feeling, which is why it is good that you can do things in steps and not have to go from your situation today to tomorrow having a job and a house and all of that stuff. That is why I think it is a good idea to not look too far ahead. I do not understand why someone would have the next sixty years of his or her life planned out though. I generally believe that planning stuff out is good, but things change too much to worry about that kind of stuff right now. In fact, I think the future can be pretty scary because it is full of unknowns. Thus, I see little reason to look at things too far ahead and instead believe that you should attempt to take care of the little things you can control today.

Anyway, I apologize if I just repeated myself a bunch of times or gave you rather obvious "advice." I am afraid I do not know of a perfect solution to the problems you outlined in your post either and I have seen them torment people plenty of times.

TheMightyAnonym

I like to keep a systematic list of everything I need to get done, how I'm going to do it, and when I need to finish it. And not just a few things, but I write down even little stupid things.

As weird as this sounds, it is incredibly relieving to have everything laid out so simply. Strategy!