Mainstream Lagers (+ Strongbow)

IanExMachina

I was at my mate's stag night yesterday, when him and his brother handed me a glass full of yellow, lukewarm liquid. 
"Drink it" they said giggling. It was only when I smelt it that I realised the prank the bastards were trying to pull.

Fosters.

Generally flavourless fizzy waste of money, alcohol for those who can't handle taste. Of course you can get small breweries that produce nice lagers, but they usually have a nice flavour. 

You can generally get a lot nicer ciders at most pubs/bars, but there is still the main seller: Strongbow. 

Worst offenders (in my eyes):

• Fosters (See bold)
• Carlsberg
• Budweiser
• Coors
• Strongbow (Obviously)

glennmagusharvey

Is it bad that I read that last bit as "(+1 longbow)"?

Vorpy

Another one is Boston Lager as well.

GLORIOUSLeader

Also piss (Coors Light). 

IanExMachina

^^ Well I dunno it may mean that their advertise has worked n such a level that you associate Longbows with shitty cider.

^ I have to say I can't comment on many American brands apart from the main imports like Budweiser and Coors, but judging by anecdotes most american mainstream lager like british is rubbish.

GLORIOUSLeader

Coors is Mexican. Rumor is workers may actually sometimes piss into the bottles. Dunno whether or not it's true, but I don't drink it for a reason. 

IanExMachina

I had no idea about the place, it's always marketed over here as an American beer. Well them pissing into it could only have beneficial effects on the flavour.

glennmagusharvey

I want to drink hard cider sometime.

IanExMachina

For clarity: when I say cider being British it always means the alcoholic kind.

You want to get good stuff, any local ale/cider festivals you could try some at?

glennmagusharvey

Yeah, I've had lots of non-alcoholic apple cider.

However, the William Henry Harrison campaign specifically spoke of Hard Cabins and Log Cider Log Cabins and Hard Cider, so I wants me some hard cider.

GLORIOUSLeader

You mean Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too? 

IanExMachina

Isn't that just apple juice, I really don't get the American distinction with ciders. (Do you also have hard perry and soft perry?)

What is that campaign?

glennmagusharvey

1840 U.S. Presidential campaign by (successful) candidate William Henry Harrison of the Whig Party.

He was also a war hero from the Battle of Tippecanoe, and his running mate (VP candidate) was John Tyler, hence "Tippecanoe and Tyler too!".

Despite being from a wealthy background, he cultivated a faux-populist image by making log cabins and hard cider a theme of his campaign.

GLORIOUSLeader

And then he had a three-hour long inauguration speech in the freezing rain and died of pneumonia. 

IanExMachina

I don't get the log cabins, but basing a campaign on hard cider couldn't be bad unless...

glennmagusharvey

^^ That was probably a good thing; his campaign strategy made him out to be kinda a douchebag.

IanExMachina

Also I'm going to add to the list:

Tesco value lager, I haven't tried it but it doesn't seem like it would be a good idea.

Khwarizmi

I used to drink Strongbow because it was cheap, but now it tastes a bit sickly to me.

Generally speaking, lager tastes of bland.  It's the most boring drink devised by humankind.  I don't recall ever tasting any lager with any real flavour to it.

IanExMachina

Yeah Strongbow was always on cheap at the SU, for good reason. After going to nice pubs, having a strongbow again is severely noticeably worse.

There are a few ok ones, but they were at an Ale/Beer/Festival and as such aren't available everywhere.

That said they were stood up by the ale and cider with their delicious varied flavours.

InsanityAddict

Heineken. Goat piss, and severely overmarketed. National shame.

As for ciders, Bulmers/Magners(depending on which side of the border you're on) and Welsh Dragon are pretty swell.