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Etiquette And Equality
I realize this is pretty dumb, but whatever.
Anyway, I tend to dislike the idea that people in certain situations (such as in customer service jobs) are supposed to call others "sir or mam." Now, I understand that doing so is polite and I certainly prefer that kind of etiquette to being rude or cursing at customers. However, I feel like it creates a kind of inequality and I am not a fan of that. In my view, calling someone sir or mam indicates that one person is in the role of the superior and another the inferior. I realize that might sound silly, but I dislike being thought of as superior to anyone so I think that using such terms is unnecessary. I would prefer it if people thought of each other as equals as talked like it. Needless to say, I do not believe that royal titles are very good either. Still, I am certainly not offended if someone uses the terms I described earlier when talking with me. I just think that it would nicer if people did not feel the need to do so.
Secondly, I dislike etiquette that is sexist, such as the idea that there are certain things that one should do in the presence of a "lady" or certain manners that a "lady" must have. Now, I do not necessarily disagree with all of the actions that such codes of etiquette suggest. I would just prefer that they were equally applied to people regardless of if one is male or female. Personally, I find the idea that people would take try to be polite in the presence of a woman and otherwise not care to be quite annoying and somewhat disrespectful.
I apologize if what I have said made little sense.
Anyway, I tend to dislike the idea that people in certain situations (such as in customer service jobs) are supposed to call others "sir or mam." Now, I understand that doing so is polite and I certainly prefer that kind of etiquette to being rude or cursing at customers. However, I feel like it creates a kind of inequality and I am not a fan of that. In my view, calling someone sir or mam indicates that one person is in the role of the superior and another the inferior. I realize that might sound silly, but I dislike being thought of as superior to anyone so I think that using such terms is unnecessary. I would prefer it if people thought of each other as equals as talked like it. Needless to say, I do not believe that royal titles are very good either. Still, I am certainly not offended if someone uses the terms I described earlier when talking with me. I just think that it would nicer if people did not feel the need to do so.
Secondly, I dislike etiquette that is sexist, such as the idea that there are certain things that one should do in the presence of a "lady" or certain manners that a "lady" must have. Now, I do not necessarily disagree with all of the actions that such codes of etiquette suggest. I would just prefer that they were equally applied to people regardless of if one is male or female. Personally, I find the idea that people would take try to be polite in the presence of a woman and otherwise not care to be quite annoying and somewhat disrespectful.
I apologize if what I have said made little sense.
Comments
Last time I checked, referring to a woman as "sir" is pretty rude as it is. Sir and Mam are equal terms so far as I can tell; though perhaps some few people might somehow associate it with an olden implication of sexism.
For the concept of not doing things in the presence of a lady, I feel that this is pretty much there whenever a guy has feelings for said lady. After all, you would feel pretty embarrassed if you passed gas in front of your crush, right? It is natural and fine that one would not do certain things in their presence.
Legal equality or not, I think hierarchy can be pretty important in certain groups, particularly working ones.
I think I can understand hierarchy in the workplace, I just do not think people should have to feel the need to talk down or up to people. I might just be weird, but I feel uncomfortable when someone does either to me. In my view, we are all have inherently equal worth so we should not feel the need to talk to people as if they are better or more important than us. I still think people should generally be polite as possible though just without using unequal terms (at least I think they are) like "sir or mam" or talking to someone like that person is beneath or above them.
TheMightyAnonym,
Sorry, I should have been more clear, when I was talking about the usage of sir and mam, I meant that saying either term to another person seems like unequal speech to me. I mean, I do no think one would address a friend or family member by using those terms and I see them as being an example of unequal speech.
For the concept of not doing things in the presence of a lady, I feel
that this is pretty much there whenever a guy has feelings for said
lady. After all, you would feel pretty embarrassed if you passed gas in
front of your crush, right? It is natural and fine that one would not do
certain things in their presence.
I think what you say here makes sense except that I have not seen this kind of etiquette used just for the situations you describe. For example, I have heard people say that a man should take his hat off for any lady and that a man should hold the door for a lady among other things. I am not sure if people actually follow that kind of etiquette today, but unequal stuff like that does bother me somewhat.
Made me feel warm and fuzzy.
for any lady and that a man should hold the door for a lady among other
things. I am not sure if people actually follow that kind of etiquette
today, but unequal stuff like that does bother me somewhat. "
I don't see why that should; it's just a gesture, after all.
Not allowing a lady into your kickboxing class, however, would be unequal. But taking off your hat just is a bit of charm.
...unless you are male and wish people would take their hat off for you...
Personally, I'm a sucker for old fashioned style etiquette (well most of it, anyways). I'll hold the door open for people (men and women, in this case) and address them in polite/charming terms. If you don't have it down just right, you could offend someone (you can tell by the way they glare at you), but otherwise it's perfectly safe.
Looking at old shows with characters like Willy Wonka, I can't help but be taken in by the nature of it all.
I'll refer to a "lady" as "young miss", or a woman in charge as "mam", and men as "sir" or "good sir", and many variations and such thereof. I'll change my politeness methods depending on the occasion, but all in all I strive to be uber polite and formal. It's such that the way I speak and the demeanor I give off makes my attitude endearing, even in informal situations.
It's always completely ambiguous how serious I am, and if I'm indifferent. If you look at my posts in any debate, you'll see how hard I try to keep everyone suspended in saccharin civility and such.
"Today a girl held the door open for me. Not even a sort of, he's behind
me, he's carrying shit, better let him in. She and I were equidistant
from the exit and she took the door.
Made me feel warm and fuzzy."
Iknowright?
my smiley was converted into a smiley!
What the hell?!?!??!?!
...
But I liked my sideways smile...
How about ^_^
^Forgetting peoples names can be a problem for me as well. Using titles is quite convenient.
I wrote a reply to your post, but then I realized how dumb it was for me to make this thread in the first place, so I apologize for being a disrespectful weirdo.
thatguythere47,
When I was working at a restaurant I used sir or ma'am because it's
easier then trying to remember everyone's name. Felt a little odd
though, as I only address people I respect with a sir or ma'am on a
regular basis.
I think that makes some sense. I guess I would rather people use different terms that do not seem as unequal to me.
To be honest, my demeanor is pretty eccentric as it is; I'm only outside of being disrespectful because of just how hard it is to discern what I'm thinking.
You're extremely polite, so far as I've seen.
But apparently some people don't like "ma'am" either.
I apologized because I felt that I was insulting you by saying I found the behavior you described to be very unappealing. I think it might just be that I dislike formal things since I also am not a fan of dress clothes (especially suits, male and female).
Khwarizmi,
I've always been slightly bothered by "miss", because I think it seems rude.
But apparently some people don't like "ma'am" either.
I think Longfellow is right about "mizz," but I do think that it is tough thinking of another term that is just as polite yet does not seem to be as unequal to me.
That being said, I cannot remember ever referring to someone as "ma'am" or "sir" before, so I guess I used something else. Actually, I probably just said "hey" or made eye contact or something like that. I guess I wish it was possible to get rid of terms like "ma'am" or "sir," but I realize that is pretty silly.
I'm still unsure as to why a term like "sir" or "mam" is unequal. Is it because it communicates the person saying the words as inferior?
If it is, I apologize. I thought this was about gender equality...