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Complete Moral Decay

in Media
There is love everywhere, I already know
Not kidding.

So lately I've been extracting myself from my various consoomer habits, which has left me with a lot of free time to fill. So, well, I watch gay reality shows now.

Very conservative, very moral.

We're going to start off with the very creatively named "For the Love of DILFs". It's is hosted by, amazingly enough, Stormy Daniels (yes, her).

The premise is that there are two gay archetypes brought together by the Australian voiceover guy, Doctor DIL* (the swear word is at the end); the Himbos, who are sterotypically hot young guys, and the Daddies, who are... well, that, but at least 40 37??? Really?

The next post will cover the first episode, so I hope you guys are curious enough to stick around.

Note: This thread will contain many, many images of half-naked men. I'll try to keep it to a minimum, but they really just never wear clothes. I'll also censor certain names so we don't get SEO-ed into a gay p*rn Content website.

Comments

  • edited 2024-01-15 13:29:20
    There is love everywhere, I already know
    Okay, so FOLD (we're never calling it the other thing ever again) begins with Stormy Daniels explaining how the disembodied Australian sent her a cheque which is why she showed up (she loves a good cheque) before moving on to introducing the Himbos.

    J44pvmH.jpg

    I'll go over the cast together because doing it twice is kind of annoying. Once the Himbos are in the mansion, Stormy has some Deal-or-No-Deal style briefcases brought in containing a pair of underwear belonging to each Daddy as well as a personal item for the Himbos to pick, thus pairing them up with that Daddy for the day.

    Most of the personal items aren't really explored because at least one of the Dads (I'm not calling them Daddies and it's already creepy enough so no matter how much weirdness I add it won't get worse) is into crystal healing and this isn't really mentioned. One of them has a crown made of leather pieces (which I thought was innocent enough until I realized what it actually referred to 2 seconds ago), and one has a mic because it's not gay if there's no singing.

    Okay, so now that I've gone over that, here is the whole* cast.

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    You don't need to remember these names because I'll be using my own for the rest of the episode unless the name is ridiculous enough for me to keep using.

    *This is not the whole cast since (twist!!) every other episode introduces a new Himbo or Daddy to replace one of the existing castmates.

    Okay so on Team Himbo we have:
    • Tony Cannoli, who is so Italian he has that last name (also there are two Tonys). He's my favorite, mostly because he wears clothes and looks like conservative commentator Ben Shapiro but also slightly a little bit like Dwarf Gay Mini-Celebrity JC Monduix**. To me he's Bengay Himbo.
    • TOKEYO... is... is that his real name? I was going to call him Rapper Himbo, but the name TOKEYO is ridiculous enough for me to keep using. One thing I've noted about TOKEYO is that he's vaguely slow at times. It's vaguely endearing and somewhat concerning. Also, TOKEYO and Phoenix know each other and have drama of some sort involving the time TOKEYO dated Phoenix friend and then they broke up and then TOKEYO blocked Phoenix for not getting Phoenix's friend to take him back but TOKEYO really dislikes it when Phoenix brings this up. None of these details matter, all that matters is that Phoenix and TOKEYO hate each other and will fight as much as possible.
    • Mateo, aka Illegal Himbo. He's a (perfectly legal) immigrant from Mexico who will not stop talking about this. Also, he has massive plastic surgery lips and dimples, but I think it somehow works for him. He also has the most impressive resume on this show somehow, being ranked #2 as a juvenile tennis player back in Mexico. He's also studying economics, for real apparently because he's been in school for 3 years. Also, he admitted to going into gym locker rooms just to stare at guys, so that's normal.
    • Phoenix, aka Acting Himbo. He's the villain of this show, and he reminds me of every evil Reese Witherspoon character. Basically, imagine an extremely gay guy, and then multiply it by being Latino before dividing it all by Dylan Mulvaney minus the wig, and you'll have an a somewhat accurate picture of this guy.
    • Nathan, aka Deadbeat Himbo. Nathan is a 'creative', which means he's written 3 songs total. I feel like out of everybody, Nathan has the least personality, so I won't waste my time with him.

    As you'll notice (though I'd guess, most likely, that only gacek would), over half the Himbos are Tw*nks, which is really false advertising. Only Bengay and TOKEYO have enough muscle to be considered Himbos, which I personally think is just a nice way of not having to say 'Hunks' in internet conversations not on a site owned by MindGeek Aylo.

    Next up is Team Dads:
    • Alex, oh wow how did I start here? Alex is a, well, a p*rn star... um, a Content Star, so we'll call him Content Daddy. Alex frankly seems kind of on edge and vaguely desperate, which gives him this oddly serial killer smile (not helped by his hulking bear body). He's somehow one of the more likeable Dads because he at least doesn't pretend he has a career that doesn't exist.
    • Gordon, aka... huh, I never came up with a name for this guy, but he's one of those guys who works in Marketing/SEO/??? for Digital Developers, aka not a real job at all. He's also Canadian and secretly evil, but we'll get to that later. I guess he can be Canada Daddy
    • Bobby, aka Sad Daddy. Bobby is like the least naturally attractive character in this show, and he also has the personality of Misery from the Canadian cartoon Ruby Gloom. I mean yeah it makes him vaguely cute, but even I feel bad for him. He's a bartender, apparently partly because "sometimes he'll give guys free drinks if they kiss him". Somehow, he's not Desperate Daddy.
    • Tony, aka Diversity Daddy. No, it's not because he's black. You can be a gayblack (as the alt-right likes to call it). You can, however, not be obese, even if you are a bear. Tony, as you'll see later on, has a giant ego.
    • Jeffrey, aka Desperation Daddy. Oh gosh, Jeffrey, breathe, it's fine, these guys are all [there's no way to say this in my usual parlance, so I'll leave it to your imagination]. Surely one or two of them will sleep with you even if you just kind of stand there looking sad, you need to stop trying so hard. Jeffrey has also not told his family he's gay, and he plans to once the show is over because otherwise they'd find out through the show. Personally, on a show this obscure, there's a good chance they'd never find out. Also, if his family is conservative, a show full of naked dudes heavy-petting each other every five seconds is not the ideal way to pull this off.

    So after the Himbos pick up somebody else's underwear (really?), they are paired up with their Dads and sent upstairs to... the exact same terrace? Like, this mansion is huge and they all have to wait turns at exactly one terrace? Is this to keep other areas of the mansion a surprise for future episodes or something?

    Okay, so the dates go as follows.

    (Not in chronological order, just in the order of what I cared about least to what I cared about most.)

    Acting Himbo and Diversity Daddy

    Diversity Daddy has the gall to say (to the confessional, not to Phoenix's face) that Acting Himbo is 'not his type'. I mean, somebody should have legit told him AH is out of his league. Phoenix tries his hardest, but Diversity tells him they should explore their options. Amazingly enough, this leads to a vaguely brilliant twist later.

    Desperate and Illegal

    Desperate really wants a sporty boyfriend who can keep up with him, but frankly I'm pretty sure he'd date a twig if it identified as male. That's when Mateo starts explaining how he's a tennis star, at which point Desperate seems to believe the universe is conspiring to finally give him a happy ever after. These two seem to like each other, and obviously Desperate is... desperate, but like... episode 2 really changes things.

    Sad Daddy and Deadbeat

    I'm really not sure if Sad Daddy genuinely liked Deadbeat's story about writing 3 songs, but apparently he's very into singing and karaoke and can't wait to hear Deadbeat's amazing poetry.

    TOKEYO and Canada

    TOKEYO genuinely asks if Canada who he prefers between Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. I can't remember which one he picked, but it was the wrong answer. From that point on, TOKEYO apparently can't forgive Canada's slight. Also, Canada kind of looks like a wrestler with his... face that looks like that and tattooed arms. TOKEYO also raps, and it's oddly graphic and heterosexual (unless he was referring to uh, yeah, no, I'm good not knowing what he meant). However, outside of the rapping, TOKEYO is in the top 30th percentile of Gay in this show.

    Content Daddy and Bengay

    Bengay seems delusional, which is good because once Content Daddy opens his mouth to explain his "profession", Bengay starts making such, such faces. They are the best most perfect faces I have ever seen. I'll upload GIFs later. Also, Content Daddy is a very physical person (he hugs Bengay so hard), and he seems to be vaguely wound up, like this is his last ever chance at finding love or something.

    You'd think this sort of person would be very free about things and not care much, but maybe it's the other way around. I would watch a show about some therapist asking Content Daddy questions. Anyways, somehow, despite clearly being a bit perturbed by Content Daddy's "work", Bengay decides that Content Daddy is The Love of His Life. Earlier, he did mention he came on the show because he'd been looking for love "in all the wrong places". Watching this, I think I know how he gets to these so called "wrong places".

    Wow, this is a lot of writing. I'll cover the rest of the episode (including the big TOKEYO vs. Phoenix matchup) later.

    **
    w2WtWIM.jpg
    Seriously, Bengay.
    (Also it seems like the entirety of Bengay's warddrobe is these 'Babe' shirts in different colors).
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