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GMH randomly posts a verse from the Bible every so often

glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
in Wonderful posts
Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
Parameters:

* Christian Bible
* Edition randomly selected from those represented on biblegateway.com

Randomization format:
1. choose one of 61 Bible editions
2. choose one of 66 (or so) books
3. choose a chapter
4. choose a verse

Not all verses are equally likely to get chosen, as a result. Would be slightly more rigorous if I did this, but this IS a wonderpost thread, after all.

Warning: Not necessarily SFW.

Comments

  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Today's random Bible verse:

    edition: 1 (21st Century King James Version - KJ21)
    book: 44 (Acts)
    chapter: 18 of 28
    verse: 24 of 28
    24 And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man and mighty in the Scriptures, came to Ephesus.
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    edition: 51 (Orthodox Jewish Bible - OJB)
    book: 47 (Kehillah in Corinth II)
    chapter: 5 of 13
    verse: 6 of 21
    Therefore we always have bitachon since we have da’as that being at home in the basar, we are away from home in Adoneinu.
  • lrdgcklrdgck
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Daaarn, you could've picked a sentence out of a bad fantasy novel (go away r/atheists, I didn't mean what you think I meant) and it would sound much the same. What are these bitachons and basars? At least, "Adoneinu" sounds like a place name.
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    edited 2020-12-30 16:13:52
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    These seem like transliterated Hebrew.

    bitachon
    https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1405289/jewish/Bitachon.htm
    Generally translated as “trust,” bitachon is a powerful sense of optimism and confidence based not on reason or experience, but on emunah. You know that “G‑d is good and He’s the only one in charge,” and therefore you have no fears or frets.

    basar
    I found two definitions.
    https://biblehub.com/hebrew/1319.htm - "to bear tidings"
    https://biblehub.com/hebrew/1320.htm - "flesh"

    Adoneinu seems to mean "our lord" or "our master".
    https://biblehub.com/hebrew/adoneinu_113.htm

    da'as apparently means knowledge.
    https://torah.org/torah-portion/perceptions-5780-mishpatim/
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    edited 2021-01-11 08:22:42
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    edition: 31 (The Message - MSG)
    book: 24 (Jeremiah)
    chapter: 48 of 52
    verse: 17 of 47

    Okay, this one is harder to post, because this edition seems to amalgam multiple verses into one block of poetic text. Based on the Modern English Version, it seems verse 17 in The Message is the following:
    Weep for Moab, friends and neighbors,
    all who know how famous he’s been.
Lament, ‘His mighty scepter snapped in two like a toothpick,
    that magnificent royal staff!’
  • lrdgcklrdgck
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    While we're at it. I don't quite remember if I said it before, or if I was just thinking of doing so. So, if I did, let this post be the easy-to-find version.

    So, there was an attempt to translate the bible to "youth language". You know, teenage slang. (Not English, but I wouldn't be surprised by an independent attempt.) The result was ridiculous. "So there was this Samaritan gal..." I can't even render enough of the ridiculousness in English, I don't know enough of the slang for that.
  • StormtroperStormtroper
    Then God said "hey, turn on the lights" and the lights turned on. God then saw that the light was cool and separated it from darkness.
  • lrdgcklrdgck
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Sort of, but more "totally radical". Perhaps "yo, turn on the lights" would be more like how it felt to read it.
  • StormtroperStormtroper
    And so Moses and Aaron told the Egyptian boss man that God said to release their brothas and sistas so they can chill out there in the desert.
  • StormtroperStormtroper
    I was going to post this on the images thread but I figure it fits better here:
    5j3gqM7.jpg
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