"Can I has pityfuck" -memecatface-

Vorpy

That is the #1 way to NOT get pity sex. Not just me. From Anyone. Ever.

You don't just ROLL UP TO SOMEBODY WITH YOUR HEAD DOWN, HAIR MESSY, WITH EVASIVE EYES LIKE YOU ABOUT TO DELIVER THE MOST SHAMEFUL QUOTE OF THE YEAR, and then bust this verbalized nut all over me, acting like it was some ironically funny joke that would actually fucking work. Was this a joke I wasn't aware of, bro? Mother fucker better let me in on it next time because that was 98,000 Kilograms of Nope and 500 CCs of Cringe flowing through my bloodstream.

Like fuck man, even if someone actually attractive came up, with their sexy features all busted out, with a confident eye-to-eye stare and a burning, undeniable voice full of carnality and gut-wrenching hotness said "can I has pityfuck" there would be no undeniable "YES" scream, there would just be hundreds of WHATs echoing everywhere "Squidward Alone" style.

I'm never talking to this guy again. If this was his last ditch effort at earning my affection, he could've done WAAY FUCKING BETTER, but helll to the No. No. NO. Hell nah. NAH. NAWWWW, SHEEEET YUCK.avi NOPE.AVI [Fucking Nooooo]

Earthlight_Ray

I've gotten some pretty shameful pleas for sexual gratification but... wow, this takes the cake.*

* was a lie lolololololololololol

lrdgck

I've heard of a guy trying to pick up a girl with the program he just wrote, but not explicit begging for the deed itself.