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IJAM: Sawing off the faucet

edited 2016-09-04 04:56:10 in Meatspace
So we have this kitchen faucet.  Or rather, we had this kitchen faucet, whose head was secured to the countertop by a metal ring beneath the counter.  It was formerly secured to the countertop, but said ring had become thoroughly rusty.  In fact, it was no longer a ring, it was a horseshoe.  So the faucet was sorta loose, and water got down there, and it constantly dripped rust, with occasional chunks of rusty shit falling off.

We bought a replacement faucet.  The trouble, however, was getting the old faucet out.

See, that ring, despite being thoroughly rusty and actually a horseshoe, still considered its own job to be securing the faucet to the countertop.  This meant that, despite being semi-loose and unable to keep the faucet from wiggling in odd ways, it had no intentions of actually letting go of that faucet.  It even rusted itself to a nearby hex nut, preventing that nut from going anywhere.

To make things worse, this is at the far end apex of a closet filled with pipes and tubes of various sorts, and sandwiched between two deep sink basins.  It was obnoxiously difficult to reach.

Attempts to unscrew the hot and cold water pipes were successful.  Attempts to unscrew the extendable faucet head from the faucet base, however, met with stiff resistance, compounded by its naturally well-defended surroundings.

After an hour of trying a variety of tools, my mom suggested a crazy idea: saw off the faucet.  But we can't fit a saw down below the countertop!  Well, then saw off the faucet above the countertop.

This seemed pretty insane in my opinion, but my dad produced his metal saw and they started hacking at it.  It didn't seem to get anywhere, other than gradually loosening the faucet, possibly simply due to the repeated jiggling.  But then something actually got sawn off.  I'd forgotten that copper was a softer metal, but that's what counted now.

"Let's keep sawing!"

A second pipe fell off.  "Let's keep sawing!"

And then finally, a third pipe fell off, and the cursed horseshoe fell off.  The horseshoe revealed itself to be actually metroid-shaped by this point (with one hole in the middle rather than the usual three chunks though, so I guess it was mochtroid-shaped), no wonder it latched on so damn hard.

I'm not sure what was crazier: my mom's idea of sawing the faucet off...or the fact that it actually worked.
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