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I swear I have an explanation for this

glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
edited 2016-01-11 07:38:56 in General
Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
so I just wrote the following:
I take the button out to dinner. The button replies that it would like to hang out afterwards, over a movie, so I bring it home with me, and together we watch some random Jackoe Chan comedy action flick that's been uploaded to Youtube. Halfway through the movie, the button complains about having an upset stomach, and ends up having a serious case of diarrhea in my bathroom. I end up calling for an ambulance, and the button is admitted to the hospital for a severe case of food poisoning. After two days, I visit the button, who is now recovering, and swears to sue the restaurant we patronized that evening, but this is a dilemma for me since the restaurant is part of a local chain that was founded by my brother. I try to ignore the button after that but it keeps on trying to get back in touch with me, and one night, it finds me half-drunk in a bar, where I spill the beans about my conflict of interest. I hardly have time to answer before it threatens violence upon me on the spot, claiming that I conspired to drag it through hell. At that moment, without a good sense of judgement or even of my own bodily functions...



...I press the button. The unused TV immediately shuts off, because the electricity mains are down. The entire grid has blacked out, for mysterious reasons. Not even backup generators are working. Man-made structures begin collapsing, as if the laws of physics had been suddenly rewritten. Across the entire world, the screams of fear, agony, and anguish can be heard from the throats of billions of people, as all of civilization crumbles before their very eyes, sparing no race, no creed, no faith, in its course.

Comments

  • ZennistradZennistrad
    It could be worse. You could be like me and have spent the past two years writing an epic-length Digimon/My Little Pony crossover fanfiction.
  • lrdgcklrdgck
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    It could be worse. You could not even finish it.
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    You can't top me (except in the bedroom perhaps, I'm not really that imposing). I just pitched an article to a Bay-Area countercounterculture mag. 
  • lrdgcklrdgck
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Sounds like, alt-right?
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    edited 2016-01-12 00:56:11
    Diet NEET
    Alt-right is a counterculture. It's more of an all-sides-are-bad iconoclasm, alt-righters would consider them degenerates. 
  • lrdgcklrdgck
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Fortunately that was my backup interpretation.
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