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Animals getting into a house, specifically mine

edited 2014-05-20 14:18:23 in General

Hello everybody I'm using this site again.  I'm here because the crappy gas fireplace I warned my mom not to get has had a series of weird chirping/purring/growling noises coming from it for a while now.  I wasn't that bothered by it before but was bored today and whatever is back there was being especially noisy.  I pulled out our fireplace and found a small pile of what looked like dust-covered poop, and a tiny little pink... thing sitting in the corner.  It was vaguely animal shaped, and now I'm afraid that whatever was back there had a miscarriage or something.  It started growling really loud before I found the animal itself, whatever it is.  Does anyone know what the hell is going on?!


  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"

    The serious answer: check if there isn't anything blocking the chimney. The animal might've blocked it, it's a bad idea to risk CO poisoning, and in any case the creature should get out if you clear it. I mean, I'm assuming your idea of a gas fireplace is the same that I have.

    The silly answer was about your fireplace being possessed and it took me a couple of minutes to come up with something that would be serious for a change.

  • Live it up you hick roadkill (chimneykill?) is delicious

  • ^^No, I'm positive it isn't in our chimney, I'd have died of CO2 poisoning after all this time.  Thanks for the advice though.

    ^ Bob you little turd, you actually still sort of exist, assuming I'm not just hallucinating from CO2 poisoning.  Get over here and eat this mysterious animal fetus with me.

  • I've been waiting for the day someone from the magical land of internet invites me to eat a mystery fetus with them

    This moment is more beautiful than I ever imagined :,)

  • So you will enjoy this feast with me?  HOUARAY!  It's probably just the CO2 poisoning and moderate amount of alcohol talking, but this may be one of the happiest moments of my life.  The only thing that could make it happier is if a guide existed on how to determine an animal fetus' species based on how it tastes, and if I had some form of tool to fish the tiny fetus out of there with, without risking angering its mother.

  • House is easy enough to get into: you just start with Daft Punk and then look for other similar groups like Justice or Danger.

  • Fear of Tigers, biatch. 

  • Oh great, now this thread is turning into another crappy pun thread where you children can discuss your hipster music.  I- ...Wait a minute what's going on...  UH OH!  UH OH!  THE LITTLE PINK MISCARRIED FETUS IS GETTING UP AND IT'S-IT'S BREAKDANCING!  TO YOUR CRAPPY HOUSE MUSIC!

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