Wonderpost: Coffee's For Closey

Kraken

Are they all here?

All but one.

Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! Put that coffee down! Coffee's for closeys. Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. 

Yeah.

You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch?

I don't have to listen to this shit.

You certainly don't, pal. 'Cause the good news is; you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonight's sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this months sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them! You can't closey the leads you're given, you can't closey shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!

The leads are weak.

"The leads are weak." Fucking leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years.

What's your name?

FUCK YOU, that's my name! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name! And your name is "You're Wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't closey them. And you go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots?

A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closey-ing. Always be closey-ing! Always be closey-ing! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention; do I have your attention? Interest; are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You closey or you hit the bricks! Decision; have you made your decision for Christ?! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? 

What's the problem pal? You. 

You're such a hero, you're so rich. Why you coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums?

You see this watch? You see this watch? That watch cost more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you; go home and play with your kids! You wanna work here? Closey! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this; how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?! You don't like it; leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you got, make myself fifteen thousand dollars! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad! You know what it takes to sell real estate?

It takes brass balls to sell real estate.

Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and closey, closey, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. "Oh yeah, I used to be a salesman, it's a tough racket." These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. 

They're for closeys.