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Those dudes in the room next to mine last Thanksgiving (NSFW)

EelektrossEelektross
edited 2012-12-01 22:55:15 in Meatspace
Definitely not gay.

So last Thanksgiving my bro and I went over to California for like two days.


We had to stay in a motel for a night because my uncle's house was full of my other relatives. The motel was REALLY shitty: the walls looked like they were made of cardboard and the AC was completely fucked. Luckily I had my DS with me, so I didn't really mind all that much. 


We stayed awake until 11:00 (surprisingly early). I initially had trouble sleeping, but the beds were decent enough and I eventually fell asleep.


(OK, this is where it gets all weird)


My bro woke me up at like 3 A.M. I was naturally really pissed, but he stopped me from yelling at him and he told me to listen to the wall on his side.


...Aw hell, words don't do it any justice. In any case, here's the transcript as I remember it. In a perfect world I would've recorded it, but my bro's video camera got pickpocketed in HK (he was REALLY pissed about that) and my video phone was low on battery. This gets a bit weird, so it's fairly safe to turn back.


Bro: Dude dude, check it.


-Bro pulls me closer to wall-


Bro: Listen close, dude. I think they're schtucking next door.


Me: Oh my god, really?


Bro: Ssssh. Listen.


-after like five seconds, we begin to hear thumping noises-


-Bro (note that my brother is a grown-ass man) stifles a laugh-


Me: Holy shit.


-thumping continues. Moaning is now barely audible. The voice is distinctly female-


-I begin singing this under my breath- 


Bro: Dude shut up! You'll ruin it.


-Moaning continues, along with unintelligible noises. This continues for 3 minutes-


-Abrupt stop-


Bro: Oooooh.


Me: (something about stamina, forgot what it was)


-thumping continues-


Bro: Oh wait, no. They were just taking a break.


Me: God, I feel 13 again...


-unintelligible noises grow louder-


-thumping gets really loud. At one point they thump on the wall, hitting me and my brother lightly-


Me: Ow.


-unintelligible words are now really loud-


-woman starts moaning "Swag"-


Me: Oh my god, what the -long string of expletives-


-Bro slams hand against my mouth-


Bro: Dude, shut up! Come on.


-woman starts moaning "Swag" continuously-


-bro and I stifle laughter-


-after 5 minutes of this, a really loud unintelligible noise is heard and everything comes to a stop-


-bro and I start laughing softly-


Me: Oh my God. Oh my God.


 


So...yeah. That's what happened.

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