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People who demand that their partners cut contact with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends.

AXavierBAXavierB
edited 2012-08-02 04:24:14 in General

It's like, I understand why someone would feel jealous, but really? It's kind of depressing to think that once you stop dating someone you never get to speak to them or be on friendly terms with them again, even if the relationship ended peacefully and you still enjoy each other's company.

Comments

  • FuschlatzFuschlatz
    A Mind You Do NOT Want To Read

    If I start dating someone who then tries to force me into doing this, I don't care how much I would have loved them beforehand. Instant breakup.

  • AXavierBAXavierB
    edited 2012-08-02 04:58:19

    Yeah, same. It just seems like such a waste to invest a lot of time into dating someone, but then if the relationship doesn't work out and you move on to someone new, your former partner is suddenly dead to you as if you no longer value the time you spent together.

  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    edited 2012-08-02 13:51:48
    Diet NEET

    Depends on the situation, really. If the ex obviously wants my partner back/seems to be kept around as a back-up of sorts, I'd find it pretty understandable to give said partner an ultimatum. Then again, with such shenanigans going on I'd probably break up on my initiative anyway.


    Of course, key here is negotiation: you can never demand stuff outright from a partner, but he or she has to take your feelings of uneasiness into account.

  • FractionalminnFractionalminn
    I am God, and all other gods are my imagery. I gave birth to myself. I am millions of forms excreating; eternal; and nothing exists except through me; yet I am not them - they serve me.

    ..Isn't this like one of the signs of an abusive relationship? O_o

  • AXavierBAXavierB

    Well it seems really widespread compared to other forms of abuse. I've seen multiple people say they refuse to date someone who continues to associate with an ex.

  • FractionalminnFractionalminn
    I am God, and all other gods are my imagery. I gave birth to myself. I am millions of forms excreating; eternal; and nothing exists except through me; yet I am not them - they serve me.

    Yeeeeeeesh. O_O

  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!

    You'd think someone like that couldn't afford to be picky.

  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)

    While forced contact-cutting is a bit sketchy, I don't think it's unreasonable to be uncomfortable with it and I do think that continuing contact with exes can be rather unhealthy.

  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Being uncomfortable is definitely reasonable.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!

    >Yeah, same. It just seems like such a waste to invest a lot of time into dating someone, but then if the relationship doesn't work out and you move on to someone new, your former partner is suddenly dead to you as if you no longer value the time you spent together.


    Sometimes transgressions become so that there's really no other healthy choice.

  • AXavierBAXavierB

    I completely understand being uncomfortable. As a jealous person, I don't think I'd ever quite get used to having a significant other still hang out with an ex. But at the same time I'd try to place myself in their shoes and think about how I'd feel if I were being forced to end a friendship to please someone.


    As for it being unhealthy, that probably depends on what the relationship was like and how it ended.

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