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Portland Jokes

KrakenKraken
edited 2012-06-28 20:29:33 in General

I don't understand them.

Comments

  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.

    it's a shithole


    just like the rest of the US


    that's all there is to it


    (too far?)

  • BeeBee
    edited 2012-06-28 20:56:04

    It's like the rest of the US, but with more hippies, drugs, batshit insane avant-garde, and forced culture.


    Also the streets are way too narrow for the traffic because nobody ever repaved them when the city boomed, so take a train from Beaverton if you can.

  • CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
    I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    It's like any mid-sized American city minus everyone but the white people.

  • BeeBee

    Eh.  That has more to do with the Pacific Northwest on the whole than Portland.

  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.

    If Portland is the weirdest place you've ever been to, you should be thankful.

  • Central AvenueCentral Avenue

    I find it interesting that every region of the US seems to have its own butt-monkey city. The Pacific Northwest apparently has Portland. Here in the midwest we have Cleveland. In Cleveland they have Detroit. And so on...

  • EelektrossEelektross
    Definitely not gay.

    Portland is still way better than the entire state of Ohio.

  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!

    I'd live in Portland had I chance.


    I'd live in Seattle, San Fran, or LA first, but still.

  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.

    yeah but by now you'd settle with anything so you don't count

  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!

    I was going to write a depressing rant about why I'd choose any place else but... Iron Maiden buzz.


    So instead. God bless the facking queen. I'll fly to London ya tosser.


    Also, it is almost hilarious how British Bruce Dickinson is live.

  • Central AvenueCentral Avenue

    Portland is still way better than the entire state of Ohio. 


    I believe the expression "damning it with faint praise" applies here. :P

  • BastionBastion
    smote

    Portland, more like PONY...rt...land.



    (Actual text message sent from my actual phone.)

  • Central AvenueCentral Avenue

    PONYrtland I'd totally visit.

  • FirebertFirebert

    That sounds even more terrifying than the normal Portland.

  • BeeBee

    And not just in an awkwardly phonetic sense.

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