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-UE
Alternatively, the thread wherein we offer each other unreliable and generic but universally applicable answers to each others' questions.
IJBM Magic 8-Ball, should I do this or do that?
Comments
You should crash a bar and drink the most dangerous beverage they have about 28 times in a row and drunkenly sing the Star Spangled Banner on a busy street.
Too specific?
Ask again later.
IJBMM8B, is this the real life?
It's just fantasy.
IJBMM8B, should I go to bed before midnight?
Not really
is god a mad man
all signs point to yes
have i had enough coffee for tonight
Reply jittery, try again
Does my mom want me to respond to her immediately right on the spot?
How long should I wait through a customer service call before giving up?
nothing at all
is it true that dogs can't look up
Look it up.
IJBMM8B, what is the meaning of life?
42
can my soul be saved after I made a half-assed reference to a book I don't even like?
Why is Higurashi so awesome?
Better not tell you now
IJBMM8B, should I finish Gunbuster now that I've finished watching Element Hunters?
No, you should read Homestuck
Why would dynamite, even metaphorical dynamite, need to have a laser beam, even metaphorically?
Um I mean 9 out of 10 physicians recommend it.
Should u follow my bliss?
Only if four out of five dentists recommend it.
Do four out of five dentists recommend it?
No, only three of them do and one of the three is Jewish so his opinion isn't particularly trustworthy.
Should I trim my moustache?
No, it gives you character.
Is it John's birthday today?
It is John's birthday today. It has always been John's birthday today.
Should I play Recettear tonight?
Should I stay or should I go?
Prepare for trouble, and make it double
PONY?
YES.
It's 2 AM. Should I sleep?
Ask again later.
Is overly strident rhetoric a weakness in the fight against systemic inequality?
Maybe.
Why are people?
Because when the earth was still flat and the clouds made of fire and the mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs they had two sets of arms they had two sets of legs they had two faces peering out of one giant head so they could watch all around them as they talked while they read and they never knew nothing of love it was before the origin of love origin of love the origin of love origin of love well there were three sexes then one that looked like two men glued on back to back they were the children of the sun and similar in shape girth were the children of the earth they looked like two girls rolled up in one and the children of the moon was like a fork shoved on a spoon they were part sun part earth part daughter part son oh the origin of love well the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance and thor said i'm gonna kill them all with my hammer like i killed the giants but zeus said no you'd better let me use my lightning like scissors like i cut the legs off the whales dinosaurs into lizards then he grabbed up some bolts, he let out a laugh said i'll split them right down the middle gonna cut them right up in half and then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire and then fire shot down from the sky in bolts like shining blades of a knife and it ripped right through the flesh of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth and some indian god sewed the wound up to a hole turned it 'round to our bellies to remind us the price we payed and osiris, and the gods of the nile gathered up a big storm to blow a hurricane to scatter us away a flood of wind and rain, a sea of tidal waves to wash us all away and if we don't behave they'll cut us down again and we'll be hopping 'round on one foot looking through one eye the last time i saw you we had just split in two he was looking at me, i was looking at you you had a way so familiar i could not recognize cause you had blood on your face and i had blood in my eyes but i swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul was the same as the one down in mine that's the pain that cuts a straight line down through the heart we call it love we wrapped our arms around each other tried to shove ourselves back together we were making love, making love it was a cold dark evening such a long time ago when by the mighty hand of jove it was a sad story how we became lonely two-legged creatures the story, the origin of love that's the origin of love oh yeah, the origin of love the origin of love the origin of love
Why is Rose/Kanaya so wonderful
Because you like seeing weird interspecies pornography.
What is love?
How Orwellian is it when your boss watches you from his house with the cameras he has installed at work?
on a scale from 1 to 10, 1984
Why can't I focus on writing this prompt
Because being a member of IJBM means your productivity is cut in half. It's part of the package, just check the contract.
Should I pull an all-nighter singing along to Fall Out Boy?
Yes.
Why haven't I gone to bed yet
Ask again later
What is a man?