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I'm not really sure how to put it, I just vaguely feel not myself. Like I've been making an ass of myself when I say things today, except not quite so extreme. Like when I'm saying or doing things they're not quite what I'm thinking. But not in a persistent sense really--just like it's something today, maybe because it's a lot hotter and sunner than I've been used to or maybe because I'm coming down from an intense (and awesome) weekend. Or the imminent knowledge that I'm going to be really busy over the next couple of weeks, that might have something to do with it.
Like even just this post. Reading over what I just wrote, it doesn't feel quite right.
It's not something I'm much worked up about, it's just sort of been nagging at me. Maybe it'll be better in the morning, maybe I just need to turn on a fan.
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I think I get a different "version" of this from time to time. It's like slipping in and out of reality, where one minute everything will go by as though it's as distant as the stars and the next I snap back and realise that this is all real and immediate, that my hand is made of flesh and bone and that blood runs through my veins. It's as though, sometimes, the world stops being a real thing and becomes an illusion for a few moments, and then I'm back.
What I get is basically the usual "review everything you've said and think how it isn't how you're feeling right now, but it did reflect how you felt right in the other time and goddamnit, you were such a douche just a few minutes ago"
Oh wow, I thought I was the only one who got like this from time to time.