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The most outlandish fake quotes ever

CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
edited 2012-04-10 18:12:09 in Wonderful posts
I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

Sometimes on the Internet, you encounter quotations that are so obviously bizarre and ridiculous that there's no possible way they actually exist. For example, this Ronald Reagan quote: "In England, if a criminal carried a gun, even though he didn't use it, he was tried for first-degree murder and hung if he was found guilty." Of course Reagan never actually said that, that would be completely asinine and indict him as one of our worst Presidents and a lying sleazeball. So of course he never actually said that. 

Comments

  • CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
    I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    Here's another utterly ridiculous quote. "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Man, it sure would suck if he had actually said that. Good thing he didn't. 

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