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I just downloaded a porn (or something like it) video trailer, and...

edited 2011-04-17 19:47:52 in Media
Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
So, the fact that it actually featured a somewhat-cute woman, in the video preview picture, was a start.  Most porn stars are glaringly generic in their vague attractiveness.

Then I downloaded the trailer.

You don't know how ridiculously STUPID she looks when doing what she does.  And it's not unique to her--anyone would look ridiculously stupid doing that.  It basically amounted to chewing the scenery in trying to express sexual arousal.

...yeah.  Said attractiveness basically disappears once they actually start moving.
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Comments

  • Okay?

    How do I respond to this?
  • I have to see this.

    DOWNLOAD LINK NAO
  • edited 2011-04-17 19:31:59
    Kichigai birthday!!
    Somehow the thought of a forum mod downloading porn is pretty funny to me.
  • This sounds weird, but we have to see this for ourselves to know what you're talking about.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Enjoy: http://www.balloondirectory.com/sexy-swimrings.html

    Yeah, she looks kinda cute, in those glasses, in that tiny 100x150 or so picture.  And that's about the only thing that I find cool about it.

    NOTE: NOT SAFE FOR WORK, CONTAINS NUDITY.  The thread has "porn" in its title; you shouldn't even be here if you're at work or in a public place.
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Wow, and here I thought porn acting was normally over-the-top.
  • ... Why were you on that site?

    And why hasn't Bob posted yet? She seems like she'd be all over this.
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    ^Didn't you read that thread where GMH expressed an interest in such things?
  • The Sonic Series Wiki Curator of TvTropes
    @ GMH's Link: You have a balloon fetish?
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    No, I don't, actually.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    > Why were you on this site?

    Because bored, basically.

    > interest in such things

    Not quite, since they never cater to my interests anyway.
  • edited 2011-04-17 20:26:11
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    I thought you said something about pool floats, though...is my memory freaking out on me?
  • Let me know when you accidentally click on someone electrocuting her own vagina while loudly screaming the lyrics to the Macarena or something.

    just how HIGH do you even have to BE to DO something like that
  • edited 2011-04-17 20:37:12
    Cue-bey
    ^^"accidentally"
  • Has friends besides tanks now
    Damn it, now I'm intrigued. Oh well. I guess I can wait an hour or two.
  • edited 2011-04-17 20:38:53
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    @INUH: But it doesn't involve nude ass-slapping with swim rings while overacting.

    > accidentally

    nyan-cat-bender-laughing.avi

    > I guess I can wait an hour or two

    Not taking the schmuck bait.  Not doing it.
  • That was pretty tame. You're right though, it kind of looks stupid in motion.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Oh, it's not insane by any means.  It is pretty tame, and I can barely even call this porn--while it's clearly made for titillation purposes, it doesn't even contain any sexual intercourse.

    I was just complaining about how ridiculous it looks.
  • edited 2011-04-17 20:58:39

    I agree if she were doing the same moves without the rings, it would be at least as sexy.  But I don't have an inflatable ring fetish.

    But isn't most porn kind of silly?

  • That's the point of a fetish, I believe.
  • edited 2011-04-17 21:13:59
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I think it would be equally ridiculous with or without the rings.

    > But isn't most porn kind of silly?

    Yeah.

    See, what would be much more attractive would be, say, a cute girl (who isn't nude) reclining on one of those in a pool.  Or just get rid of the swimrings, period, get dressed, and go do something else.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Actually, no, you're right, it's more ridiculous with the rings.

    Without the rings, it would just look like an overacted attempt at a porn video.  Or modern dance.

    Then again, modern dance could also incorporate the rings.
  • >Balloon Fetish

    I....I....what.
  • What part of Rule 36 confuses you, exactly?
  • edited 2011-04-17 23:18:03
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Yeah, i don't understand balloon fetishism either.

    That said, I don't understand most fetishes.  Some have easily-identifiable potential causes, such as foot fetishism (obsessed with one woman's beauty, focused on feet for some reason), some have potential causes that are a real stretch (diapers are worn around one's crotch), and then some just...don't make sense at all.
  • ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Blood comes from the body and is like ejaculation.
    Shit has that forboding taboo feel to it and comes from teh_butt.class
    Piss is yellow semen?
    Pain releases endorphins into the body.
    Electricity creates a numbing stimulation through the body.
    Nipple pulling just feels good for some reason.
    Although guroshit I can never understand.


  • edited 2011-04-17 23:45:40

    ^I find 90% of guro utterly disgusting, but sometimes I find a mild guro moe in a badass adorable sort of way.  Sturgeon's Law, perhaps?

    There was one where a girl was being disected in front of a class while she was still conscous. I just wanted to hold her hand while she died. ^^;

  • Glenn: Actually, I've heard a theory that diaper fetishes are started when people are babies--they feel their diaper rubbing against their genitalia and therefore a link of sorts between diapers and sexual arousal. Obviously, this link rarely is made, of course. This is just a theory, however

    It does explain why mostly men are diaper fetishists, though--male genitalia is outside the body and therefore easy to stimulate this way, while female genitalia is inside and therefore it's much more difficult for this to happen.
  • ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Well sad guro always was nice. But "Rip your ass hole open with a scalpel and fuck the holes" was gross.

    I guess Sexual guro is not my cup of shit tea, but drama guro or gorror is.
  • The best porn is always hilariously bad spoof titles. Thank you Cinema Snob!
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