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Comments
I never meant to imply that you weren't but I think if losing out with a girl and having to settle for friendship is so bad that you could never deal with it... well, you gotta move on to new girls.
I think the "friend zone" phenomenon actually applies not to stable relationships but to infatuation and sudden passionate romantic/sexual encounters. Sudden bouts of passion or infatuation are unsustainable, and if that's what you think results in a fruitful romantic experience, then yes, either you get that, or the feeling passes and you don't feel like doing it with that girl/guy anymore, at which point, based on your counting this as a non-sexual state, you consider yourself friendzoned.
However, stable relationships are more built upon mutual caring and affection, for which friendship is pretty much a prerequisite.
xkcd invocation
We all win
This.
Manipulation doesn't necessarily mean 100% or near-100% results a la mind control. In this sense, people are manipulable in the sense that you can get them to think about things in certain ways, that might influence their behavior.
Or in better words, what MadassAlex explained.
Which makes manipulation so broad, empheral and instinctive as to void automatic negative connotations. Thus my beef with the use of the word 'manipulation' has disappeared, and I concur with the gist of the argument, thus avoiding semantic derails.
To be honest, the very idea of "friendzone" as something bad disturbs me. I'd rather have friend than a lover. And I'd certainly not want someone who treats me as these articles recommend as either.
Makes me grateful that I'm ugly. Seriously.
^ There is actually a pop song (fairly old now) called "I Don't Want A Lover, I Just Need A Friend." It was by Texas, I think.
And I'm sure you're not ugly on the inside, whatever you look like.
^^Actually, what do you look like and what do you find ugly about it? I'm always skeptical about people calling themselves that, too many people with a case of bad self-esteem and not the balls to ask opinions of those close to them on how to tweak their appearance. If discussing that sort of stuff makes you uncomfortable, consider the question unasked.
The friendzone is something bad not because there's no poontang involved, but because by it's very definition the model is one-sided. The concept has seen an immense watering down the same way hipster and emo have, but at its root lies the notion of one friend doing everything for the other, with zero reprocity. Of course the imagined reprocity of a boning makes the person doing everything for the other a complete git, but a friend who only sees you in times of emotional breakdown and remains aloof the rest of the time is a bad friend too.
Not to mention ignoring the 'giver's' screwed-up gestures of affection in the root scenario has something of an enabler attitude(or this just makes the other person horribly oblivious/bizarrely optimistic). In my view, a good friend would slap that shit straight outta you and drag you along to the nearest social outing to meet some new peeps.
tl;dr: Friendzone bad because of the scenario implicit in the friendzone. Screw peeps who use the word too lightly.
Well, I'm short, very fat and wear glasses. That's enough, I think (shrugs)
Anyway, you definitely have a point about lack of reciprocity, and also that the "receiver" of such unwelcome romantic advances should not remain silent and ignore the situation. And my problem is indeed with using the word too lightly, with an implication that friendship between male and female is in any way inferior to romance, or is only good as a step towards romance.
For what it's worth, only one of those is still considered ugly these days. :P
As genuinely obese. Anyway, I'd prefer not to talk of it, ok?
Also, even for someone who sees people as means to an end, a galpal means a) access to her friends, b)a wingwoman and c)a sign of being non-threatening in that bullshit evopsych way.