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ITT: Horrible pickup lines I just made up

DonZabuDonZabu
edited 2011-11-09 00:10:04 in General
Hey there chacarone. How'd you like to hop nasty with this scintilating salamander?

Imma drop my seed into you DDT style. Them eagles eggs ain't gonna know what hit em!

Lady, I use a woman's size six shoe as a condom. Ask me what label it is.

Imma spin you round like a record. Jazz Age Hall of Fame, baby!

Comments

  • ForzareForzare
    edited 2011-11-09 00:14:51
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.








  • DarkDecapodianDarkDecapodian
    edited 2011-11-09 00:35:27
    Clean your room little Billy

    'If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I on either side of Z.'


    'Hey baby, what's your star sign? Mine's Cancer, like the one in my prostate.'


    'Wow, you are really beautiful...wait, hang on, no, no you aren't sorry, it's just the fifth tequila kicking in.'

  • captainbrasscaptainbrass

    In their song Jailbreak, Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy reckoned he could get away with: "Hey, good-looking female, come here."


    But then, he was a rock god. The lines from the Lemon Song by Led Zeppelin about "squeezing my lemon" also come to mind in the canon of "pick-up lines that would only work for pop stars, if at all."

  • DarkDecapodianDarkDecapodian
    Clean your room little Billy
    ^ Good looking female?! And here I was operating under the mistaken belief that Phil Lynott was a pretty good lyricist for his time and genre...
  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    I don't think it's so bad. Probably sounds better in a song or depending on how it's said.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    'You'll do.'
  • TheConductorTheConductor
    "It's not like you of all people can do much better".
  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    Do people actually use pickup lines? Even ironically?
  • BastionBastion
    smote

    "Do people actually use pickup lines? Even ironically?" could be a good icebreaker.

    Follow it up with "If anyone would know, it'd probably be you" for, you know, extra smoothness.

  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET

    "I'm a hippie, wanna see my deflower power?"


    "Hey, nice shoes, wanna go grab a pizza or don't you like pizza?"


    "You wanna break in my matress while I break in you?"


    "I hope you like the Legend of Zelda, because I have some roofies with your name on them!"

  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    That last one! xD
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    the pun

    it burnses and clean us.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    ^^ I don't get the roofie one
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