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I want to be fat vs. I want to have lung cancer: A Battle Between Blacklungs and The Fatness

VorpyVorpy
edited 2011-04-10 02:06:37 in Media
☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
Here is a list of compiled information:

  • There is an age limit to the time you can purchase cigarettes, but there is no age limit to how soon you are allowed to be fat. What the fuck is this shit?
  • A common fallacy to use is "Being fat doesn't hurt other people, but cigarettes do", and that is a fucking lie, because when you die, and you are fat, people have to PICK YOU UP, which is going to hurt them. When you are in a public transportation crash, and you land on a baby, you are going to kill it faster than a man with a cigarette is going to.
  • More murderers are casual smokers, and more child rapists are fat. If there is a fat smoker, he is probably a child rapist and a murderer.
  • Under-arm Fat and Lung Tar weigh the same thing, but both taste like shit.
  • Cholesterol was named after a fat man in Olivia, Washington.
  • People with cigarettes, who no longer have cigarettes, are fucking assholes, or poor. People with fat, who no longer have fat, are happy with themselves and rich.

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Comments

  • DonZabuDonZabu
    I dislike you less now.
  • KomodinKomodin
    The Sonic Series Wiki Curator of TvTropes
    I like you less now.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    I inbetween like you?

    Medium like?

    Likedislike?

    Dislikedis?
  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)
    What the fuck, Vorpy.
  • FarseerLoloteaFarseerLolotea
    edited 2011-04-10 17:16:17
    Yeah, I'm with Ponicalica on this one.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I want to know how you come up with these threads.

    (They are a nice change of pace from Jamishes, though)
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    Jamishes sound like a brand of mountain footwear.
  • AnonusAnonus
    edited 2011-04-10 20:41:35
    (It is my portmanteau of "jammies" and "Fetishes", a nickname I used for this place about 2 months ago when I got tired of it)
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    ....how the fuck did I even write this thread? It makes absolutely no fucking sense.

    I read it over and over again but can never relate to what I actually wrote. It's like I didn't even say it.

    Holy shit.
  • BobBob
    edited 2013-01-19 20:08:57

    Viani you fat fuck

  • ElectivirusElectivirus
    ...Oh Jesus what
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Moar.
  • GLORIOUSLeaderGLORIOUSLeader
    edited 2011-06-01 05:31:45
    When in Turkey, ROCK THE FUCK OUT
    Well that's a thing.
  • NyarlyNyarly
    edited 2011-06-01 05:51:02
    Likes cheesecake unironically.
    Clearly, we should look down on smokers and fat people. Or look up to them. Or treat them like any other people. Or whatever.
  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR

    Wait wait wait..... HOLD ON...

    You gotta keep the distinction between Rudge-Fat and Gibley-Fat.  This is vitally important.
    I personally tend to find Rudge-Fat to be more acceptable than Gibley-Fat for aesthetic purposes...   but ultimately... the test is this.

    Imagine a particular fat person.
    Imagine pushing that fat person out of a helicopter... (after you've got it away from the magpies, that is).

    Do you imagine them bouncing.... or going splat?
    Rudge-Fat is bouncy like rubber. People with Rudge-Fat are typically round and if you push them over you can roll them down hills and stuff.
    Gibley-Fat on the other hand is soft. People with Gibley-Fat are typically covered in rolls and seem to melt into the form of whatever they're placed on. You can hide things under the fat rolls of people with Gibley-fat.

    THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT...


    (Note: I based the names on two teachers I had back in high school. No prizes for guessing what they looked like respectively.)

  • CaptainFargleCaptainFargle
    @SotiCoto: You know, that badger in your avatar doesn't look particularly dire. More cuddly than anything else really. 
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Iorilaugh.avi
  • ColorPrinterColorPrinter
    ʍɥɐʇ po ʎon ɔɐll ɐ ɾoʞǝ ʍıʇɥonʇ ɐ dnuɔɥlıuǝ
    .......uh, what?
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4tMV857C_k
  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR
    @Fargle ; Unlike other creature types, a Dire Badger is just what an ordinary badger becomes when agitated. You can tell because it will generally be scurrying towards you rather than just getting on with other business. It will also be the last thing you see.
    That is how you know my picture is that of a Dire Badger: it is looking at you.
    It can see you.
    It will find you.
    There is no escape.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    I disagree.

  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR
    I guess I forgot to mention that it only applies to the European Badger.
    American badgers are but pseudobadgers. They lack the capacity for direness, despite their best efforts.
  • CaptainFargleCaptainFargle
    @Soti: So what you're saying is that the proposed badger cull, if enacted, would end up like Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    I guess I forgot to mention that it only applies to the European Badger. 

  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR
    @Fargle : It would be a lot messier than that.

    @Cygan : That one is just playing dead to fool the stupid humans in their stupid car. The next picture several seconds later shows the badger shuffling away with a big explosion in the background that used to be that red car.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    That one is just playing dead to fool the stupid humans in their stupid car. The next picture several seconds later shows the badger shuffling away with a big explosion in the background that used to be that red car.


  • CaptainFargleCaptainFargle
    @Soti: So you're claiming that Possums got everything they know from Badgers?
  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR

    Possums mimic badgers in the hopes that it will make them more badass.
    The term "badass" is officially derived from "Badger".... I officially retconned that to be true... and official.



    Anyway... wasn't I lecturing you guys on the importance of the difference between Rudge-Fat and Gibley-Fat?

  • CaptainFargleCaptainFargle
    You were, yes. And a very important distinction it is too.
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