Cracked

Myrmidon · 2011-02-14 15:23:11

Stop trying to talk about romance.

Just stop.

Trash_Vortex · 2011-02-14 15:32:07

"Cracked, Stop trying to talk"

Fixed.

glennmagusharvey · 2011-02-14 15:41:33

Yeah, I'd be highly entertained if they just shut the fuck up in general.

randomtropeloser · 2011-02-14 15:54:37

I'd like it better if they focused less on trying to teach us life lessons and more on trying to be entertaining.

DonZabu · 2011-02-14 19:25:04

I haven't been to that site in months. I'm sick of David Wong and Daniel O'Brien's nihilist swill.

Myrmidon · 2011-02-14 19:34:41

Zabu, don't use words you don't understand.

DonZabu · 2011-02-14 19:37:06

How are they not nihilist, or at the very least irrationally pessimistic?

Myrmidon · 2011-02-14 19:56:42

Because NIHILISM IS A FUCKING MEANINGLESS WORD AT THIS POINT SO STOP APPLYING IT TO EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING YOU FUCKING DISLIKE YOU FUCKING FUCKS

Sorry.

DonZabu · 2011-02-14 20:04:01

-pats shoulder-

It'll be okay, man. It'll be okay.

(inb4 Vorpy)

ninjaclown · 2011-02-14 21:06:35

You guys need hugs? But seriously, Cracked is starting to suck.

randomtropeloser · 2011-02-14 21:15:15

^ Of course, that opinion would automatically get you labeled as a troll there, according to this: http://www.cracked.com/funny-2724-trolls/ ; Apparently, offering criticism of any sort means you're a troll.

Super Lazuli · 2011-02-14 21:17:22

I don't like the preachy ones.

I tend to stick to the media ones anymore, but even THOSE get up their own ass about something now.

DonZabu · 2011-02-14 21:26:58

^^ The section on the critic is making me re-think my stance on TV Tropes's stance on critics. Turns out TV Tropes ISN'T the worst it can get, after all.

Myrmidon · 2011-02-14 21:31:52

That was written by a Cracked reader, not the staff.

inkblot · 2011-02-14 21:52:00

Don't criticize Cracked, profit from it. Copy and paste from random
tvtropes pages, organize them according to a theme, add stock photos and send it to
Cracked for easy money.

5 Mind-blowing Hidden Secrets In 80's Arcade Games

5: Pac-Man Is A Cannibalistic Abomination of God

Think about it, what does he mostly eat? Round yellow dots, occasionally
larger yellow dots. What is Pac Man and the rest of the Pac Man family?
A bunch of round yellow dots. Obviously Pac Man's major food sources
are the infant members of his own species. The ghosts freak out when he
eats the larger dot because they can't really defeat Pac Man themselves,
they can merely possess him to hold him still and then possess the
larger dot - the older juvenile- to kill him. When he eats the juveniles
he robs them of their only hope to save the children and they wallow in
blue wailing despair.

Or he's your garden-variety 'roid hound.

#4. Dr Light Is A Millionaire Playboy Industrialist

As he got steadily older, Dr. ~~Light~~ Stark had to give
up the Ironman mantle. Taking a pseudonym was due to all the world
either wanting either his attention or his death, due to his techno-hero
legacy; "Thomas" is a name beginning with T that is very similar to
Tony, and cold laboratory "light" is regularly "stark". The Ironman name
itself became the basis for the Man artificial intelligence
series, the next logical step in the JARVIS concept: machines that could
not only process commands by voice and physical interaction, but walk
and interact with their environments. Protoman was the logical title for
the original generalized model, Megaman the generalized refinement, and
many of the others receiving their names specifically to make it easy
to remember their niche capabilities. His inventions, though, again
fell into the hands of international terrorism (especially via the
machinations of one of his own truly talented former colleagues), which
forced him to reevaluate the role of scientists and engineers on the
cutting edge of technology for second time. His ultimate decision was
that so long as people like him only made tools (which includes
weapons), there could never be any guarantees against their dark uses;
the only way to make a tool ineffective in the cause of evil was to give
the tool choice in the matter. Thus, work began on a truly New, and
potentially horrifying, stage in the history of humanity: X, a biped-frame-based artificial intelligence with the ability to not only act, but act on its own:
the ability to think, feel and make its own decisions. This work had to
be in secret, of course, because humanity was not yet ready for the
implications of the creation of the kind of artificial species their
kind had feared the development of (and for good reason) for ages already. Thus, the Capsule, designed to test X exclusively by ~~Stark's~~
Light's own personally programmed sentience and personality algorithms,
to ensure that "he" would not wind up unleashing the very threat that
Light sought to create him to prevent. And it would've gone off without a
hitch, if ~~[Insert true identity here~~] Wily hadn't
somehow got wind of the project, and begun work on his own vision of the
future, in turn. And finally, the clincher: Light's Sean Connery beard is the fully matured stage of Stark's Generation X goatee.