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The first fic I might seriously finish is...

ChagenChagen
edited 2011-04-25 22:31:24 in General
[tɕagɛn]
...a fetfic (2 billion bonus points to guessing what fetish).

I feel ashamed of myself. At least it's PWP. And comedy. And original, instead of being a fanfic. 

...Okay, I'm gonna start writing this thing now.

...God, what the fuck am I doing.
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Comments

  • snowbullsnowbull
    Cue-bey
    saying PWP really means nothing since it could be "with" or "without"
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-04-26 21:32:31

    [Comment deleted]

  • TheMightyAnonymTheMightyAnonym
    ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    (2 billion bonus points to guessing what fetish)

    Not a diaper fetish; that would be weird.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    I meant Porn with Plot.

    Two demons (the Christian demons--a Succubus, Lilith, and an incubus, Marcosias) mess around with their possession powers and cause a mess on Earth. They are sentenced to being summoned and working for a higher demon (they're low on the demonic hierarchy) as punishment. 

    But the Succubus that summons them....let's just say she has a different kind of punishment in store for them...
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-04-26 21:32:41

    [Comment deleted]

  • StormtroperStormtroper
    Before I even clicked on it.

    So possession fetish is one. How many are there?
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-04-26 21:32:51

    [Comment deleted]
    [Reason: Shitpost]



  • ChagenChagen
    edited 2011-04-25 22:46:37
    [tɕagɛn]
    I haven't counted.

    Also, have this hilarious gem (at least to me):

    "“But before that, why did
    you do it?”

    “Because-”
    “-Marco is a complete
    fucking idiot and thought it would be funny to possess people and
    make them create a stupid beer bottle cannon.”

    “SHUT UP, YOU KNOW IT WAS
    FUCKING AWESOME!”


    “Please,
    no language,” Koln nervously stated. “Even if we are in hell
    right now. But that does not mean we should fall to nothing but
    depravity. We should work to make this place better.”


    “This
    place holds serial rapists, mass murderers, and people who leave the
    toilet seat up, Koln.” Lilith sardonically quipped. “Why should
    we make it better?”


    “Because
    God and the angels give us paychecks and food, now be quiet for two
    fucking seconds.    ”

  • BobBob
    edited 2011-04-26 21:33:04

    [Comment deleted]

  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    This story has a lot of dark humor. Jokes about serial rapists and mass murderers abound.
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-04-26 21:33:24

    [Comment deleted]
    [Reason: Critique]



  • NoimportaNoimporta
    I've no doubt it's a masterpiece.
  • ChagenChagen
    edited 2011-04-25 22:54:01
    [tɕagɛn]
    What? Come on, I could use some critique on it. It's just a rough draft.

    Hey, I thought it was pretty funny.

    Noim, it's porn. Stop reading it and expecting to find something on the caliber of War and Peace or To Kill A Mockinbird. My skills are rusty.
  • RedEyedAbyssRedEyedAbyss
    edited 2011-04-25 22:54:41
    For one thing, it sounds like something from Shadow The Hedgehog's localized script. Do you need to use "fucking" every other sentence?
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    They're kinda pissed right now. Koln is near drunk and annoyed, Marco is an a stupid teenager who abuses the F-Word, and Lilith is a Deadpan Snarker.

  • SammySammy
    "Lilith sardonically quipped."

    Doin' it wrong
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    ROUGH DRAFT PEOPLE

    You guys are making me give up already, jesus fucking christ. You gotta walk before you can run.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Fuck it, now I'm ashamed of this and I want to abondon it.

  • NoimportaNoimporta
    Good, move on to better projects.
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    edited 2011-04-25 22:58:37
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Abandoning a project because people criticize an early draft is exactly the wrong reaction. It's a first draft. Every first draft ever written sucks. The key is to edit it until it doesn't.
  • ChagenChagen
    edited 2011-04-25 22:58:53
    [tɕagɛn]
    I want to continue writing this.

    INUH: Well, given that everyone is already screaming "IT SUCKS LOLZ"...

  • RedEyedAbyssRedEyedAbyss
    edited 2011-04-25 23:01:25

    Let me outline the criticisms:

    Bob: There are limits to Dark Humour.

    Abyss: Excessive use of curse words.

    Sammy: Forced, awkward language.

    All those seem like reasonable criticisms to me.

  • ChagenChagen
    edited 2011-04-25 23:02:40
    [tɕagɛn]
    I'm going to continue writing this. A lot of people who've critiqued my writing usually say that I falter in description, but my characters and their dialogues are absolutely hilarious. My strong point is writing funny scenes, mainly.

    ^Oh come on, there has been much worse dark humor in the realm of fiction.

    I'll tone down the curse words.

    I've always been bad at description. Workin' on it.
  • RedEyedAbyssRedEyedAbyss
    edited 2011-04-25 23:03:09

  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    I responded to your post. 

    I may tone down the dark humor.

    Curse words need to be toned down, okay.

    And I've always been bad at description. I'm trying to get better but it always comes out forced.
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-04-26 21:33:44

    [Comment deleted]
    [Reason: Critique]



  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    That's quite odd. Usually my dialogue is praised quite a bit.

    But yeah, I need to edit this thing. I'm just gonna keep righting.
  • SammySammy
    Dude, where's the smut?
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-04-26 21:34:00

    [Comment deleted]
    [Reason: Critique]



  • DYREDYRE
    Do people actually ever use the term "fetfic"?

    Doesn't everyone just call that... porn?
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