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fourteenwings can write!!

edited 2020-02-07 05:29:49 in Media
Take our past and share it with the future~☆


As you guys know, I write quite a bit. So far, I've finished a couple of stories, but not many.

My first foray into writing was quite forever ago, a story called Raya!, which was (if you can believe it) a magical girl story inspired by Indian mythology. It was basically a CW teen drama combined with a brutal magical girl series. I say "brutal" because it didn't really question the magical girl orthodoxy or anything, it just took things to logical extremes. Though, despite the constant destruction of the main characters rich neighborhood due to what is believed to be actual terrorism, nobody ever moves away.

However, I just stopped writing it after a while, and moved on. I did reuse one of my favorite concepts in it later, and I'll definitely talk about that eventually.

Fast-forward a lot, and my last attempt at really writing something was a story called Honor Board, which was about (surprise surprise) rich high school students navigating their lives. That also kind of petered off, mainly because I could never figure out why the main conflict, that the main character Pfeiffer has to navigate a friendship with her best friends -Arabella and Zainab- who were fighting with each other, existed.

Sometime after that, I actually buckled down to write something seriously and, by George, I actually managed to do it! That story is called Return from the EDGE, and like the original title (Return to the world from the EDGE, which felt excessive) it was very inspired by light novels. The main characters all wielded giant machines powered my dimensional energy, and went out to fight mysterious creatures from a dimension layered on top of our own.

I worked very seriously on the setting. I actually wrote down notes, which I almost ever do very seriously, just to keep track of all the places and acronyms. The factions were much simpler to deal with, since at the end of the day it was still a story where individuals dealt with individuals, rather than being moved by their allegiances. Hilariously enough, I've basically forgotten most of said universe details, though I can at least draw out a sketch of the character arcs without checking.

I have a few interesting stories about this story, actually!

First of all, I once wrote the whole of Chapter 11 and then saved over it. I think the second attempt turned out better anyways.

The original draft of the story was 13 very long chapters long, written like an anime series, and that version of the story featured a whole different set of antagonists (though the main villain remained the same). I looked at that draft and realized it was really off, so I cut those original 13 into about 20 or so and added 18 more.

I also went about six chapters into the original draft before I came up with an actual plot, and that plot was basically the perils of privatization, which then just became a subplot among other things.

Also, it's set in Norway and all the technology was named in Google Translate Macedonian, because... well, it was cool.

I originally meant to write a sequel to this story immediately after finishing writing it, featuring the protagonist Sigmund going to Morocco and training two new Moroccan kids in the fight against RRs, but it never really went anywhere...

Then I wrote Heist Phantoms. Ah, Heist Phantoms...

Heist Phantoms is basically a comedy, wrapped in some drama, covered in more comedy. I mean, it has very serious elements. The protagonist is trying to wish her father out of prison, for one. Otherwise, it's pretty much just a funny story about a really weird place.

The original concept for this story, that I thought up quite a while ago, did actually involve a set of secretive interlinked phantom thieves. The protagonist was supposed to be Nora (who ended up being the main deuteragonist instead, and her sister was actually a whole separate character who hung out with Alexandra (who ended up becoming her sister) and only showed up in the sequel.

This version ended up having the 'Heist Phantoms' moniker bestowed because of the protagonists actions, whilst their actual abilities came from magic Gaelic rocks. I don't think I ever experienced any serious hitches writing this story, and it took shorter than normal to write, probably because I was constantly switching perspectives.

I do kind of find myself falling into patterns, or forcing myself into them at least. For example, all of Return from the EDGE and Detective Brody are written from the main character's perspective (except Detective Brody's first sequel, which features an epilogue from somebody else's eyes). I think it's fun to write like that, actually, so I'll try and stick with it.

However, I do find when I write in multiple perspectives (see my upcoming post on death games) I write much faster and more obsessively than normal. I guess because it's easier to see all the different perspectives.

Anyways, I guess that's all for now. Next time: death games, how Heist Phantoms cribbed off Raya!, writing a fripSide-esque song, and other things.


  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    ...holy crap you do visual design computer art?
  • edited 2020-02-06 17:32:42
    Ultimate Forum Poster
    First of all, I once wrote the whole of Chapter 11 and then saved over it. I think the second attempt turned out better anyways.
    One lesson programming has taught me that's useful outside programming is to use version control whenever possible.
  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Did you do much research for the Norwegian setting?
  • edited 2020-02-06 21:56:01
    Why does that Japanese say "foachinkuingz"?
  • edited 2020-02-08 05:28:06
    Take our past and share it with the future~☆
    Why does that Japanese say "foachinkuingz"?

    Typo! (oh well now I have to redo that).

    It should read "foachinuinguzu". That is, "フォアチンウィングス".
    ...holy crap you do visual design computer art?

    Literally just MS Paint. It's what I use for most of my cover art on fictionpress too, though for Detective Brody I went fancy and used Jeta Logo Designer. I might end up redoing them in MS Paint anyways, though, just for consistency.
    use version control whenever possible.

    Yeah I should really look into that.
    Did you do much research for the Norwegian setting?

    Quite a bit, actually. Researching modern Norway was pretty fun. I mean, it was pretty easy too since it's easier to find information on modern Norway (where they speak English as a second language) than most other things.

    I looked up buildings, more general things about how people lived (though a lot of my characters ended up being more intense and boisterous anyways since that's how I write), listened to some popular Nordic pop guys (this was surprisingly hard even during the age of YouTube) and so on. I also tried to look into schools, but I quickly dumped the school element of the story so that didn't help with much.

    I read The Local NO for months, too, just so I could keep up with things.

    Fun Fact; Norwegians don't normally use eBay, they have a site called Finn. It sells, basically, everything (including houses). You can even post job ads on it.

    I think I cheated by just having all of my characters by default just speak Norwegian, as if the story were told in autotranslate, but I did do some research into Manx/Manks as a language to use for my 'Ancient Gaelic' bits in Heist Phantoms.

    Okay, so let's talk about Heist Phantoms and Raya!

    There's a chapter of Raya! that will probably always be my favorite (especially since I've mostly forgotten the rest). In that part, the main protagonist Laurie is lost in a fantasy projected by one of the four main villain generals, Chiara. She basically finds herself living a Disney Channel TV series, and it's very ridiculous overall.

    However, Laurie is eventually able to break out of this world, because she won't settle for looking away from the harsh realities of being a hero.

    In Heist Phantoms, I took this and turned it into the climax of the story. There, when Lea enters the core of Paradox Park where the Witch Maiden awaits her for the final battle. Instead, she enters a world where her life is going swimmingly. She's become a perfect version of herself, and every problem she was trying to solve no longer exists.

    This time, there's a bit more plot attached. The Witch Maiden has long left the world the heroes are trying to save, but she's left enough instructions for Mayor Foley (who has been the main villain so far) to take over her dastardly plots. He attempts to use this glamour to extract a song from Lea, which I'll talk about in a second.

    So instead of just breaking free as soon as the illusory world is gone, Lea has to re-take control of her own song.

    Speaking of, I actually had to write the song.

    This is a story set in modern Canada (for some reason), so in the story Lea has written an EDM sort of song. However, when I was trying to write out the lyrics, I wrote it as a fripSide song, with all the typical fripSide sounds (in my head). It doesn't just exist in the form available in the story, there's actually a full version.

    Since then, I've also written a few songs for other stories (well, mainly one story, which may or may not end up happening).

    Anyways, here it is; Create a PARADOX:

  • Take our past and share it with the future~☆
    As you guys might know, I'm quite into death games. Mainly because I find them hilarious, but also because it's just a really interesting way to write a story.

    Whenever I start writing out a death game, I'm very enthusiastic about it. I love the characters and the intense plotting that a death game has to entail. However, after about 15-20 chapters, I can feel myself starting to burn out or well... in all honesty... become disturbed at myself.

    How am I writing this? How can I create entire characters just to watch them grovel at the feet of life's limitations? (there's a word I want to use here, but I can't put my finger on it)

    Maybe one day I'll manage to get through a whole death game, but probably not now.

    Death Games: UR Doll

    UR Doll was inspired by a draft I wrote long ago, which was pretty basic*. It wasn't originally designed as a death game, but the premise I'd written out made it ideal for one.

    *Read it here:

    That basic premise, that a girl was stuck in a computer world taking part in an experiment to save her sick brother, evolved very quickly. First I decided on a real life setting, Virginia, with the main character attending George Mason University and studying political science. To date, this is the only time I've written about a protagonist out of high school.

    UR Doll's premise was distinct from it's two main plotlines. These were:

    **There is a group of two neurosurgeons (one crazy, one learning the ways of crazy) and a nurse (specially trained in life-support, since everyone is in VR) on a Black Site near George Mason University who have been tasked with creating a psychological profile of the perfect soldier. Somebody who can fight towards any specified goal.

    This profile, once created based on the 10 participants, will be 'Intergrated' into the minds of top soldiers and special agents. This would include good aspects such as being mission-oriented and putting the team above one's own needs, as well as bad aspects such as not being too concerned with one's own horrific actions, or completing the mission at all costs.

    **One of the participants, I forget his name, is a Romani immigrant to the United States, who passed through a lot of treacherous areas on his journey to America. It would be slowly revealed that there's a war going on between Italy, Romania and Bulgaria vs Turkey and a couple of allies (don't ask me specifics kay, and also Turkey wouldn't be in NATO for reasons).

    Anyways, there's a pathway that illegal migrants used to pass these war zones, but most of them have died trying to cross it since it's like, a war zone. However, it is in this area that Italy is developing some sort of super-weapon, working with the more industrialized European countries, and it is believed -the unnamed boy, I guess we could go with Aslan for now?- has come across a facility related to this weapon and has seen schematics related to it.

    Therefore, after further consultation with the shadowy team behind the approval of this whole thing, the two doctors and nurse find the memories he had of the places presumed to be this area and turn this into the world the 'Dolls' have to play in.

    However! They will also try a new experiment, running on an artificial brain. A doppleganger of Aslan, who will also try to comb through Aslan's memories whilst participating in the game. Then the obvious happens and Aslan's duplicate realizes that if he can kill Aslan, he'll be able to take over Aslan's real body on the outside.

    There are 10 characters in the game overall, but some have way more plot than others. I think it's a disservice not to describe them, so I will in a later post.
  • Take our past and share it with the future~☆
    The characters in UR Doll are each selected from the program based on a duality, that is to say, either one or both have motive to kill each other. Of course, since these motives are mostly secrets, they also have to keep the murders secret.











    So, why did I stop writing UR Doll? I stopped writing after Everest killed Aslan and got away with it. I think, in a weird way, I might have been scared of myself for Aslan. He was a good kid, a kind boy taking care of his family, trying to keep a broken Emily together, falling in love with her.

    And here's this smart, rich boy who just comes along and stabs him in the heart, leaving him near the forbidden zone for Emily to find.

    Plus, around the time I was writing it was when I had this dream. In fact, I find that when I'm writing death games is when I have my most extremely vivid terrifying dreams.

    Anyways, Benny was the mascot of the game, controlled by the doctors and nurse at different times. He was a tiny stuffed teddy bear (based on my own old teddy bear, who was called Brandon) who always spoke with a booming game-show host voice (represented by bold text) and used the word 'Any' in all of his sentences.
  • Take our past and share it with the future~☆
    Writing the outline for UR Doll gave me a whole other idea, which I might actually begin working on sooner rather than later.

    I should also do my outline of Thriller: Threat x Killer sometime.

    In the meanwhile, the first ever chapter of Detective Brody has gone live. It's going to be a long while of editing and posting and etc with this story, but I'm quite glad it finally happened after all this time.

    I guess, much like my new idea, this is based in my current interest in "a mystery where nobody dies, but people consider the circumstances to be serious". I don't know why it's become the default for every mystery to feature a death, even though that can kind of dull the complexity of each character and their motivations.

    I mean, I guess it gets you right in the visceral part of your mind, but it's not a shortcut I like.
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